EVERY MAN IN THE WORLD

♥ A hint of loves, A bit of fear;

2011-09-26T14:03:00.005+08:00

(: Back for blogging, I know that I had neglected this blog for more than I expected. Well shall give a quick, fast and simple update. Start from where? Neither do I know, I'm currently working as a waitress at Amber21, at the same day taking up part time day job, so I've been lagging of sleep, like serious!

Jensabella is under my care, and obviously under my parents care if I'm going work. She's turning 1 year 1 month tomorrow, is like super fast though. time seriously running faster, and what we are like two month away to the end of 2011 isn't it? Take a look at my bella see her cheeky face, drinking my carlsberg. dont want give her she keep screaming and shouting like nobody business, so i just pass her th can.

as life move on, everyone else will leave you, just th matter of time. I've been sticking my life with this particular guy for sometimes, but we are living without a status. If you gonna ask me if I love him, I would say I don't. Sometime it could be just a habit;

I know more and more people through clubbing, and working at Amber. I dont know if is a good thing either. but, I came to realise Singapore is god damn small.

Guess is time to end here. Life got to move on, I'm still gonna be th girl who smile everyday, without anyone knowing that deep down I'm rather sad. Th girl who is always standing strong, who is never afraid of love game (: that's me!

I wouldn't want you back, not anymore;
Even if I could turn back the time,
My life is so much better without you,
someone who just go to bed with any girl.
Jensabella's wouldn't want a daddy like you;
MD. JENSKI KHAN

One After Another ;

2011-09-05T22:21:00.000+08:00

IF ONLY. . .

things just ain't easy.
things just not going my way.
things just seem to be falling apart.
nothing seem right...
I just wanna shut myself down.

It's All Over (':

2011-06-15T13:23:00.003+08:00

To be honest, im damn lazy to update, but i guess, i have to update. it's been damn long i didn't touch it, or infact going to be even a month alrdy. too much things happen once again, just too much that words can't finish saying, friends, relationship and even family.

well, im officially single once again, after holding on for four month going to be five month, it just go this way. i knew that i shouldn't be sad if i choose to leave, but i couldn't control myself, my tears simply just roll down, every words he said made me wonder for so long, anyway, this torture finally come to an stop, i no longer need to feel that i have a boyf thn to think i dont feel like having one.

Jensabella is been in and out of NUH since end of May, first was a gastric flu, and less than a week admited again, she got herself burn like th whole right hand and body, it hurt so badly that i can't control th pain at all. she simply just too naughty that i dont knw what to do to her, if she never pull down th table cloth nothing would happen to her, if that china bitch dont put th soup near th edge of th table bella would be fine isn't it. ):

i guess i have to end my post here, and get back to work :D bye people. im sorry i neglected this blog (:

i thought you knw,
im too weak to handle this fragile heart.
trust NO MEN.

Heart Turn Slowly;

2011-05-20T01:15:00.002+08:00

I'm back again, but I am not happy, I am sad, rather down especially many things happening, is driving me crazy, like real crazy. My temper got worst, to th extend that no one can tolerate, especially in a situation that everything is bottling up and you simply just burst out. Been crying for past three day, th feeling of th heartache doesn't seem to go away, i dont know why.

I'm far as tired as how I use to be, it's been long I broke down and cried this badly and is like three days in a row. I dont know why either. Certain things just happen and it just clash everything down; anyway, those who just change their number like recently, please drop me your number cause I might not have your number, cause my iPhone4 is gone, less than two month~ another record of mine~ I dont know what's next.

relationship is one of th things that dragging me downward, and i feel like ending it already, I dont wish to, i dont have th heart to, but there's many hidden lies, I dont know how to trust this relationship anymore, I feel tired of holding on, especially when it seem like is an one sided loves. it make matter worst isn't it? It hurts so badly tt i can't take it anymore, and possibilities of this ending relationship is like anytime, any minutes from now...

Bella has grown fatter every time i see her, i feel like im getting old, especially when im carrying her :D she th only reason why im still trying to be strong. why I'm not giving up, she is my everything, really everything to me.. she knw how to say byebye to me (: and wave her hand. kinda miss her when mentioning about it.

2nd June is near already, can't wait. I'm afraid of th pain, but I've to cover it up, what else can I do?

gdnight people, pls wish me gdluck,
and tell me, I'm gonna be strong;

Something Just Seem To Be Missing...

2011-04-30T02:21:00.002+08:00

It's been sometime since I really seat down, and do some blogging. Here I'm once again, decided to do some updates and editing and changing of picture here and there. &Finally, I am done! I was wondering should I update or just leave it, and after seating down for a minutes I decided to update. (: It's going to be 3AM soon, and I'm still not in bed though I'm feeling a little tired/sleepy.

Currently messaging with boyf, he is busy outside and still he didn't fail to try his best to keep me accompany. There's many upcoming event seem to be near and I seriously don't know how should I plan everything, especially all we need is money ): I'm kinda of sad why am I not 21 this years. Well, is okay, my turn will come just have to be a little more patient. Been hitting ButterFac/Rebel with my lovely babies, almost every Wednesday & Friday~ wearing heels going around it's tiring though, but still we have joy, we have laughter, we have quarrel too, but sun will still shine after rain (: Sis's 21st Birthday coming, and chalet is near and I not yet get her any present or infact I dont even have th time too;

Been working like almost everyday, hanging/staying out late almost everyday~ so what are my life like, worst th owl I guess. Anyway, I'm trying my best to save money but i dont know why, my money doesn't seem to be saving up~ deposit, and it *poof, missing again, I guess I really need to do something about it.. and so I made out my mind, MAY START I will take monthly pay, a great ideal isn't it? So I'm able to see my money, if there's a need I will take advance from my boss (: Happy ending, woohoo~

Third month with boyf is near just another four day away, I'm counting down... everyday I am hoping that this love would last, but sometime I just tends to have doubt on him, definitely something make me doubt. After th whole two month near three month being with him, we have laughter, quarrel, and tension, but we manage to overcome it. Either one will tends to give in and admit th mistake and I guess this is part of making this relationship last, he is always busy so we spend lesser time together, messaging is definitely a bomb every month when my bill arrive, it hit up to 5K ever since I'm with him, we msg more than we meet actually; but what more can I ask for? All I could is keeping it in my heart though I wish he could meet me more (: But well, he always give me th freedom I wanted, even if he is jealous he wouldn't say, till I voice-d out. Overall, when I'm with him, he never failed to make me smile;

Jesabella's is eight month old now, time flies really fast. She seat, she crawl, she can even hold things and keep standing up, she cry looking for me, she cry whenever I leave her alone, and she cry esp when I eat, and dont share with her. she's just too wonderful for me. And I guess, no one can break us apart (:

Tomorrow I'm working and is abit early 11AM I must reach, an hour earlier than usual cause there's new stock in by 11AM, so I've to reach early to check and unpack stock, guess it gonna be a tired day, as everyone has taken gov money, and time to spend it all away right? I guess I'm gonna stop my rubbish here, I'm a little sleepy, hand are tired too, goodnights peeps; pls be my reader often~

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I guess you should knw long ago we're over,
I guess is too late for you to turn back,
I guess is time for you to make a change,
and start a new life of your own.

♥ I Gave You All I Had;

2011-04-22T02:27:00.005+08:00

(: Well, I know it has been month since I last came for my update, but I bet readers is lesser now? right? Life is simple for and a little tired for me now, I'm way too busy doing this and that, sometime I'm just too lazy to even on my laptop and choose to lie down on bed and do nothing, if readers want me to have more update, give me a good apps that iphones have so I'm able to update almost everyday (:

Okay, boyf and I gonna be three month real soon, in another two weeks time. Though sometime i find it hard being with him, but still nothing stop my heart beating for him. Many thing im still trying in this relationship and well, time to time i get tired too, but life's still move on.

Sales in work is getting worst, i dont know what is actually happening but it just doesn't seem good at all, i guess my boss is tired over it too, same goes to us, i bet we had tried everything to make it better still. hope time gonna make it good soon.

Don't wish to post much, sort and simple i guess. Last but not least my cheeky baby, she's more naughty :D thus i love her, th greatest gift.

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I remember today,
boyf hold my hand as we were walking home...
and we goes ..
"ily, you love me,
we're happy family,
with a bigbig hug and a kiss from me to you,
would you say you love me too".

♥ Bottle Up Inside;

2011-03-24T18:27:00.003+08:00

(: Hey peeps, I'm back to update my dead blog am i right? didn't update for almost two weeks, I guess. Been tired working, been tired handling all sort of stuff at work, been tired trying to control things around me, things bottling up and definitely i shut myself; not turning to anyone, not telling anyone about what's atually going on. But I'm seriously down ):

Let's say about my little princess first, she's growing each and every single day, she run around using walkers, chase after me whenever she saw me, follow me wherever i go, and she cried when i left her alone. but her temper is just like me, stubborn baby~ when she's playing happily with her thigns on her hand you took it away she will start crying and shouting, naughty right? but no matter what she's my only precious, my everything, everything to me.

what's next, work? been tired, working everyday just to have enough money, recently due to March, everything down~ many thing need money, i haven't even pay my hp bill, for th first time, i drag my bill ): just finish paying my grandma her salary for taking care of bella, and well, many things is coming up, i guess i need to work double hard for this period of time and April will be a new month for me (: endure~ but I'm getting tired with th new staff now, been getting on my nerve like anything i feel like just fcuking sack them, seriously. th feeling of working with those who think they are clever, to think that they are always th first really sucks! lazy, yet act differently infront of Dan, FUU _|_ i want him out of IRONIC ;

anyway, next relationship. me and babyloves is doing well, thus we tends to quarrel more now, doesn't know problem lies on who, but still we will give in to one another to solve th matter instead of more quarreling, more tension isn't it. he's nice to me, though sometime he is so busy that he couldn't keep me accompany ): but i love him whole heartly is true, just dont want to get myself hurt, though that's what im afraid of now. really it breaks my heart sometime to think that he's so busy; well, what more can i do? life goes on.

next, Jenski is back in my life; i dont know what he want, but is simple i wont be back even if he wanted me back. I living my life happily with my princess, with my boyf, i dont need him anymore, life with him or without him doesn't make any different to me, cause i have long treated he's dead, and true enough, i dont need him anymore, not a little (: I've move-d on from my past, stand up strong, to do what i want to, to be who i want to be.

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upcoming plan, AhTiong 21st birthday at PasirRis (: on Sunday;

when loves is overdue

♥ I'm Getting Tired;

2011-03-08T00:51:00.003+08:00

Hello, decided to give a quick update before going off to bed, but at th same time im actually waiting for my boyf message, dont understand why is he busy all th tiie ): i feel that being with him is a very tough things. somehow or rather it stress me in many ways. thus he doesn't hurt me, but im thinking so much all time.

After a month spent with him, he made me cry, but he make me smile too (: being with him is just th matter of how am i going to look things in a better side instead of thinking so much things, but sometime th truth just pop up out of no where, and i can't deny th fact that he lie to me, though it wasn't a serious matter, but i just dont like when someone lie to me, what matter to me now is this relationship will last.

next, been sick working at bugis, been tired seeing their faces all day. sometime i wondering why am i staying when there's no reason for me to ): i seriously got sick working, but my aim and target now is work hard, earn enough money, to enjoy life and of cause my little princess too (: she's teething already ;

what now, i got nothing more to blog, i have nothing more to hope, just want a happy relationship with boyf, and of cause a good life for my little princess.

♥Happy 1st Month Anniversary to Boyf ;

2011-03-04T16:13:00.001+08:00

(: Hello, I'm currently at polyclinic and I had been seating here for almost one hour, can you imagine how slow are they. Seriously is wasting my beauty sleep time. I actually dont wanna come de, but promise boyf I will come today, so no choice I cant break his promise ):

Today is our first month tgt, after all th ups and down we been through. We spent th whole night together yesterday, were playing mahjong with sis, sisbf and my bf. After that headed to Fajar Mac for breakfast, my scramble egg with cheese (: was nice to th max, seriously.

Boyf is currently asleep now, and here im alone waiting for th number to jump to 2772, it's god damn slow la their service here, I cant stand seating down here just keep waiting. Anyway working life getting more and more sick, especially working with Jolvest, is really getting on my nerve, is just th matter of time when I will get crazy, thats all.

Anyway, im sad that i've to make a bad choice, is bad but sometime to think it through is th best choice too, things happen just too fast and I dont even know how am I going to handle it right. Aiyo, faster my turn la, I wanna go see my little princess lei ): is seriously wasting my time here.

I shall end my post here (:

Bye readers, to be back soon.

J'CSY

2011-03-04T16:01:00.001+08:00

Hellos readers ^^ I'm back once again, decided to update since I'm still not tired. But I dont know what should I update, been playing mahjong almost every weekend, and is definitely there's up and down, got win also got lose. Anyway, I just finish playing at my uncles place, tomorrow end work will be playing too (: gdluck to me.

Tomorrow will be working as usual, slept at 6am yesterday and my mum woke me up today just to play mahjong at 1pm, headed to uncle place for mj, after one round headed to Pending CC to celebrate grandpa birthday, after our dinner was around 9pm and headed back to uncles place agn for second round.

Now I'm home, just finish bathing. Waiting for ♥boyf to text me. Kinda miss him, met him yesterday but we spent most of th time playing handphone game. Life being with him is fun most of th time, cause he never fail to make me smile when I meet him. But he make me worried most of th time... This ♥boyf is fun to be with, but I cant say that he is good, cause I still dont undetstand him, dont know about him much either. Sometime relationship stuff is hard to confirm. Soon will be our one month anni le, time flies (:

Will be meeting ♥boyf on Sunday, so I still have to endure another day before seeing him ): anyway, recently there's a little conflict with my exbf, family. How funny it's right? Thus, I dont wish to mention this, but to make it simple whatever they wrote sound like I'm wrong for breaking up with him. Laughs, suppose to be simple and easy, friends still but they make it so difficult to even be friends.

Well, life's move on, regardless whats wrong in between. Anyway, I order a beanpillow for my little princess, with her name saw on it, together with a pacifer clipper (: kinda of find it cute, so decided to buy for my little princess, though is a little expensive, but is worth it (: for my little princess. Isnt it? Dont pamper her, who should I pamper?

Guess I'm gonna end my post here, handphone batt gng flat, need to charge le. Goodnights people, & my little princess, and of my boyf too.

♥ Part Of Grpwing Up;

2011-02-23T14:25:00.001+08:00

(: Hello, I'm back for my update agn, since my handphone have th programme to update my blog. I'm at work now, feeling so bored, there's nothing for me to do at shop, th crowd was still down after Chinese New Year. So what else can I do now? Seating inside th shop waiting for customer to approach us.

Been stressing alot of stuff, especially in work. Too much of new staff while th rest has to leave, one have changed job, one has to serve NS. Follow up, my stress will be piling up like nobody business. Friendship ain't bother me, thus I dont feel that is important sometime... everyone has to come and go regardless how long they have been by your side. Relationship is worst, or maybe I shouldnt be thinking about who's right and who's wrong, but thinking abt how to give in should be th right choice now.

Raining now, is damn heavy, street would be even more empty ): this month commission is gonna be god damn less lurhs, what should I do now, I'm so bored. Me and boyf first month anni is coming soon, time flies, agree ? Bought him a MB perfume, dk what else can I get for him..

This sunday is even worst, has to bring Jensabella to work, cause we are in need of staff now, and there's no one who is able to help, or infact there's no stable staff currently. Jolvest, our new staff kinda problematic for me, Jesslyn currently still okay, for th time being, in future idk what will it be like. My strong man power Hock is leaving for NS soon, who am I going to rely on after tt.

Guess life is too much up and down (: we just have to go through it one after another, to see how far we can go...

I'm wonder what if I'm ......,

What will my desicion will be this time round.

♥ Is Getting Harder ;

2011-02-21T17:56:00.002+08:00

Hello readers, im back for my update. Things isn't going right this few day, i feel tired out of everything in just a minutes of clash. I dont know how to describe th feeling, but somehow or rather im wondering did i made a wrong choice.

Working stress is getting more, reltionship stress is something i've never had ever since I left Jenski, but now... It seem that i've started to have this stress once again, thus is not with Jenski, but with my current boyf. i dont know why, but th feeling of losing him seem like in any minutes, i dont know if this relationship started too fast or is it because I'm too sensitive. there's many possiblities, but seriously im sad out of it, th time spended with him is so much lesser than how much he spend with his bro; th feeling just aint right now.

I've been breaking down th past few day, feeling a little out of my mind, finding it hard to control relationship, how? I really dk how, hais. Possible of him lying to me, is higher, sometime i wish that im thinking too much, but sometime it doesn't seem that way. what should i do? im so stuck in between, or infact in this relationship.

i needed someone to listen to what im going to say, pouring out all my feeling...

♥ I Gave You All I Had;

2011-02-17T01:30:00.003+08:00

Hey babes (: I'm back once again. Well, I'm feeling a little tired but still decided to give a update, out of sudden just feel like typing, feel like writing out many thing, maybe somethings that mouth couldn't bring out ):

headed to work today, feeling super tired cause i slept only 5hrs, was with ♥bie th whole night, or infact th past few day i've been with ♥bie just th two of us we can chat th whole night full of rubbish and cock, ♥bie talk cock sieh rabak de, but i seriously love spending time with him, he made me smile, colour me even though im in black and white; he never fail to cheer me up out of anything, he love to say i always behave like a little children, cause a little bit i jiu give him face :D but he still will give in to me, regardless how unreasonable im, ♥bie is someone i wanna spend my whole life with, if im willing, is he?

anyway im suppose to say about work, was damn tired at work, trying to endure, crowd was down like shit, butbutbut out of miracle three of us manage to hit target today (: it was really shocking, cause we thought that we no need to hit sales today le, but we manage to; a clap to us, and tomorrow will be better right?

ahchun no longer working with us, same thing she change to MYSGMR kinda of sad, angry also happy? i dont know how to describe th mix feeling but obviously i wish that she will work harder, endure and be wiser (: now my shop suppose to be in need of staff, but in less than 6hours, everything settle so now more stress, another stress is how am i going to endure after ahhock leave, i might not be able to off, cause th sec senior staff will be in FEP, and well i will need to be in Bugis lurhs. what to do, that's part of life. tomorrow meeting peiyun and going to work together (: like been so long...

didn't meet ♥bie today, been meeting him th past few day and i guess he need some space with his bro all, shall let him have his own freedom too, cause somehow he let me have mine too, in anyway he dont control what i do. though is only been awhile i have been with him, but still th loves seem strong, stronger than anything i guess. wondering how come this relationship is so random right, i find it sudden too, but ... is fate? i met him at Bugis, where im working during January busy month, he's working right beside me. his first impression of me is sucks, same goes to th impression i have for him. but after getting to know him we got closer, and feeling grow after time spent with him during day to night, it get stronger, on CNY EVE his last day, i cried (': i thought i wont be able to see him again, but on th very same night we headed to drink together, and that's when it actually started;

i dont know how long it will last, but i really wish i could be with him till end of time, someone who know how to cheer me up when im down, someone who never fail to be there for me, though he ever lie to me, but there's reason for his lie, i forgive him. i hope he never will again.

anyway, im somehow having war with my mum, dont know when will th war stop, feeling a little tired, and a little numb, *tsktsk i know is my faults and i had already apologise, hope things will be better this few day (:

Bella know how to eat porrige le, know how to seat, know how to flip, she learn very fast, really fast like hmmmmmmm,, i miss her so much just met her yesterday, and her smile take away all my sadness. thinking how should i celebrate her first year birthday (:

shall end my post here, i dont know what should i post either, night people.

♥bie always say,
"yesterday is a history,
tomorrow is a mystery,
today is a gift, so treasure it.

♥ Happy Valentine

2011-02-15T05:46:00.002+08:00

(: HAPPY BALENTINE TO ALL. I'm a little bit late for this wishes cause i doesn't have th time to use th lappy and since im free now, so decided to give a simple short post, a quick summary, i guess.

I'm back home about an hour ago, met up with ♥BIE just now. was busy with work this whole day, or infact not busy just doing nothing th whole lurhs, ever since CNY ended, Bugis is like an empty street to me, seeing same people and th shirt is like only selling one pieces per hour lurhs, can you imagine how weak is th crowd now.

head back to Friday night, went to Neverland with babes and their bf&friends. it was a great day after all, enjoy th night with them, though i vomited quite alot, ♥BIE catch us up later on, but by the time he reach, im like half way gone, LOLS.

well, Sundy headed to town with Joce, Peiyi and Chantel was a tired, quick and fast day, headed to buy Valentine gift for ♥BIE. Bought a Burberry Polo for him, and im seriously broke now. who wanna feed me and my little princess?

been lazy to update lurhs, Neverland picture is on FB, i lazy to upload here (: feeling tired now, so decided to take a puff and to bed. OFF TMR ;

Jensabella's is turning 6month soon (: time really flies after all. nights readers ^^

♥ Th Love Risk ;

2011-02-10T01:37:00.002+08:00

:D hey babes, im back for my update again, trying my best to update twice a weeks, if possible everyday. been rather lazy to touch my computer this few day, but out of no reason. maybe due to tiredness at home, and bored at work? ♥B has been a rather busy man, been only able to see him at night, and during day time i will be working, and he will be sleeping ):

♥B is currently outside now, shall take th time to update blog before he reach? I dont know how long will it takes for him to come, from 11:30PM, till now i've been waiting, headed to fajar mac with Peiyun to have a short chat till now, ♥B still haven't reach, hate th feeling like this, but i know he doesn't know. cause he dont understand me still, at th same i dont understand him either. maybe this relationship is a little too fast, that's why i've been saying that it seem like a risk being with him, dont know how far it will go, or how fast it will end, im feeling like up and down all time. but i knew that i love him is th truth.

been thinking alot recently, been wondering alot too. it's been so long since i have this type of feeling, th feeling of loving someone and afraid of losing someone, th feeling just came so fast that i couldn't stop it. so what else can i do now, not feeling well now, was cold at house downstair, plus at home without fan on im still cold.

headed back to work on Tuesday, was really bored to th max, like well street is like empty like fcuk, imagine to th extend of you can bring MJ there to play, obviously i didn't bring, been playing blackjack with colleague, simple. didn't manage to hit comission yesterday, but i did it today though th crowd was really sucks~ hate working without people coming to buy, like 6shop yet no people, what th hell, you know boring?

♥B dont know what time will come, hais ): im kinda stress in this relationship as i dont know what he's doing out there, im staying in th west when he is staying at another side, having hard time to meet him, and having hard to spend time with him too ): i dont even know when he is lying either, or maybe he never did, he just keep telling me trust him, but sometime i dont know to trust either.

babes been telling me, not to put too much feeling, it takes time to know a person well, to know his personailty to know his life and even character. so now what, i dont even know ): someone pls save me, im madly in love with him now ):

Friday gonna be a wonderful night no matter what, just dont bother about th spoiler things gonna be good right? hope so. shall end my post here, tomorrow im not working shall rest home then. bye peoples ♥

PS: I miss th life with long hair,
th life when one group of friends,
heart link together as one.

♥B, th feeling of loving you more,
make me have th feeling of losing you even more.

♥ One Final Last;

2011-02-06T22:22:00.004+08:00

(: I'm back here once again, im so bored now and ♥B ask me to use th lappy so wont be bored. But im still feeling th same way even when im infront of th computer, Jensabella is now sleeping right beside me hugging her pillow, she been sleeping since 7PM, and woke up for miilk just like 15minutes ago, finish and back to her sleep again. she's growing more and more chubby and fat larhs, having hard time carrying her le, anyway tomorrow need to bring her for injection at CCKpoly.

Well, was out for drink last night. Fattybom called me while im at uncle's place and told me if im able to be out at night, i tell her i might be able to provided im able to find someone to take care of Jensabella, and i manage to. So thought that will be heading out to drink with Fattybom and friends, ended up she didn't manage to make it, but i had already bring baby over to Joyce places, so no choice i can't be bringing back in th middle night right, so find my own session. cab-ed to NANA with Joyce and wanting to meet Ahchun there, and by th time we reach was already 1.30AM, seriously inside was damn mother fcuking full, rang Ahchun up and he's still on his way, so call-ed Jason he was at Rachada? (dk how to spell) and we meet him there, it was like 2AM when we reach there, and it close-d at 3PM, so we kinda get turned off. reach there was feeling weird cause idk anyone of them, as ♥B wasn't with me till later mid-night. all are ♥B friends lurhs. so me and joyce just sat there and waited for Ahchun, he arrived awhile later, and we planned to go Neverland, as i feel that it doesn't make me feel good seating there.

So headed to Neverland first with Joyce and Ahchun while Jason will later on catch us up. Neverland was flooded just like how NANA was, and they told me there's no seat, and we notice a few sofa seat, and we definitely request for that isn't it, so we manage to get sofa seat by opening two martell, and well left half bottle balance there now. LOLS~ been drinking almost 3time straight in a week le siahs, think i will soon faint. ♥B came later on was like abt 4.30AM liao lurhs, he was out with his friends gambling, and i knew he lose alot. Jeremy came to look for joyce when we reach Neverland in less than 30mins, end of th day Jeremy send joyce home, and of cause send me and ♥B home too (: thanks for th ride anyway.

♥B stayed at my places till morning and headed back home, after he headed back home, Joyce reach my places with my little princess, and my dad bought her out to his working places while me and Joyce headed to Fajar for breakfast, and home with mum's breakfast too.

stay-ed home all th way till now, guess im rotting lurhs ): ♥B not meeting me today, as he's going out with friend shall wait till tomorrow to see ♥B le. J msg me today, and his message was like a weird and random.

J: I kinda miss u..
Me: what reply you want from me?
J: I donno iam confused..
Me: alright.
J: Tat time i saw u and her made me wonder
Me: do you want me to tell you what i want?
J: Yes
Me: (my feelings dead towards him, and i love my bf)
J: Okays thats for telling me th truth..
Me: I had already made it clear, on th day i cut my hair im starting afresh.
J: All the best to both of us.. =)) remember this always.. Dont turn back..
Me: ^^ I never will.

I finally made it, it really prove how dead my feeling has towards him, how many people really trust that my feeling for him has long gone.

so bored, ♥B also dont know doing what, texting with him now, gonna see him tomorrow (: life would be better this way, going back to work on Tuesday, like well gonna be a good one, im so tired of staying home doing nothing, heading back to work would be better i guess, Valentine day coming, what present shold i get for ♥B? any idea?

♥J.C.S.Y, th love risk.

♥ Sorry, Sorry ;

2011-02-04T22:53:00.002+08:00

(: Been damn long since my last update, many things happen, firstly working war finally ended, CNY has come and there's no more busy day and im able to off as much as i wanted to now. Well, ended a relationship just like yesterday? I'm sorry that it ended but i believe i left with no choices is too hard for me to make it last when there's no way we can have a good communication. sorry that i've hurt you in anyway, but th best things is better to leave now then to make you fall even deeper. there's no way we are able to commincate, this relationship shouldn't consist about just giving in, but also understanding.

it's been a long desicion and a final one. out from drinks with babes and loves on both CNYeve and CNY :D headed to NANA on th eve, and to NANA, Lunar & Oracle seriously both day drinking session was damn high la, loves been sending me home th pass two days, he's there to take care of me though he is feeling a little bit tipsy too. receieve many redpacket this year, both me and bella :D gonna deposit all to bank real soon, if not i dont know how much i will lost again.

so now final war has over, everything back to square one. started a new relationship, i doubt it will last, but i wish it will, cause i dont know how long this love gonna drag me to but i know th feeling for him is true, somehow or rather is grow from hate, to passing feeling to loves. i dont know what exactly happen but well, sometime is fate, some it isn't. im not asking much now, just a stable true and a sincer heart, isn't it enough? anw, im waiting for him now,, he's so long larhs ):

what now, family out for gamble session and im here today, decided to stay home and have a good good sleep instead of going and drink every single day isn't it, learn to save money i guess, im like tired ttm and yet still drinking every single day. LOLS. next week more plan is up (: gonna enjoy to th fullest, shall end my post here. there's nothing to much to update, Bella is turning 6mth old soon :D

there's no need to look for a beautiful women,
but look for a women, who can make your life beautiful.

♥ One Month, Daddyloves ;

2011-01-13T00:43:00.003+08:00

(: Hey readers, i know im away for like almost two weeks already, due to CNY is near so im damn busy at work but what to do i still have to earn money. Well, time flies rather fast today is me and daddyloves first month, like just a glance we are already together for a month. dont know how long it would last, but definitely i hope it will.

anyway, i love this picture very much, my little princess is so cute right, i wanted to kiss her cheek and there she's turn-ed over to kiss me too. well, it was taken on Evon's wedding dinner (: there's alot of her picture, all uploaded in FB already.

New year now, so things gonna be afresh start for me, and little princess. CNY is near, there's many things to buy, everything new. bf is a good one, i never regret being with him, neither did i thought of leaving him, so far he's still good, but dont know if thing will change as time goes on, though i have faith in him. all my babies say, after so much pain, and hurt i finally found someone who is ten times better thn J and th past can totally throw it aside.

someone who wont mind me having a daughter, someone who wont mind if im able to give him money, someone who's willing to buy whatever things i want, just to make me happy, this type of guy out ten, i bet left only one? and i found th right one, didn't i?

been thousand years since i last drink, th group of drinking babes is like gone, went drinking themself, if not time for bf, no money all sort of excuses started coming up, or infact sometime th feeling of this babes drifting apart is damn high, idk why, but time prove everythings.

that's all for today update, tired already. eyes closing . . .

♥ Back To Life ;

2010-12-26T04:18:00.007+08:00

(: Merry X'mas to all of you, im a little late by 4HOURS, but well at least im here for my update, someone called me to update soon~ as a promise back, im here for th quick update. Well, my little santaclause is getting more and more cute and adorable right, she learn thing very fast i guess, she learn to flip already, she flip like superwomen, is damn fast, and when something is blocking her she started shouting. LOLS; loves her ttm (:

okay, been about two week i haven't update my blogs, been damn busy with work due to Christmas day, NewYear and of cause Chinese New Year. Been so packed with work, outing with family, and of cause with love too. Well, my room is half done, show you th picture, is right below, and at th very last picture is my Christmas gift from my beloves babes Chunny -

well, there's many things right :D is all my favourite hellokitty. Christmas present receive present from all my babes, a HelloKitty Plush from Peiyun, A Gap shirt from Weiting, KT dustbin&IphoneCasing from Chun, KT blanket, earpieces, keychain & pyjamas from Joyce, A Cup from Fatty, A KT photoalbum from Chenghock, A Citigem Necklects from loves, hopefully i didn't miss out anyone? LOLS, a wonderful christmas after so long since i last celebrate.

was home on Christmas eve, busy with ink on my back. Plan-ed to get iPhone on christmas, but plan spoil thanks to M1 service, and im so piss-ed off that i decided not to get anymore ): sad-ed right, but never mind it didn't really affect me that much. Went to print my little princess photo in 4R and now my KT photo album is for her, and all her cute little picture.

okay, my KT bedside cabinet is here, can see from th pic, th first pic :D was thinking to get more, but there's no design or new design avaliable now. they will call me for any new stock :D so no worries, been getting alot of stuff~

guess that's about all for today. just had my breakfast with my brother and loves. so full~ time to sleep soon, nights people. going out with family tomorrow?

If there's everlasting loves,
then why will there be different people breaking up everyday?

♥ He's Back Again ;

2010-12-09T02:19:00.003+08:00

While waiting for my laundry, I decided to update my blog since my lappy is on now (: miss me? well, i knew that i've so much things to update, but im just kinda of lazy to say every single things out, sometime many things is better left un-said, isn't it? same things as usual, im working like morning to night, no time for computer, but im gonna be free from Thursday to Sunday (: due to my long weekend off. I'm not lazy, just that my room is gonna be done by this week, if possible.

Plan for tomorrow is damn simple. Morning, i would definitely be sleeping still, and Jensabella's will be doing th same too, till afternoon im gonna get myself ready to meet my daddy, and get all th picture printed out. at th same time ask about my HP, im changing my x8 to x10 (: like well, i can't stick to a phone forever. after that will head back to my place, while he do drawing, i take care of my princess, at th same time clear my clothing, and princess clothing. gonna throw away those unwanted dress/top etc... and during night time, will be my dream come true :D like finally, after two year; wish me luck *no pain, no gain.

Friday plan, will be at home whole day, doing my stuff, if possible, im heading to work too :D but it's gonna be a tired day if im going to work, anyway im gonna work only half day, so no worries it will be a crazy day for sure, if im heading to work. half day, home gonna rest? Saturday plan, get down to LOT1, and take my HelloKitty cabinet that i've reserved, and head to Fajar, get my paint, paint brush, everything. home, and start painting my room :D after that start arranging, if not done, but Sunday, it will be done, my Kitty Land is coming.

today, i bought alot of Kitty Stuff. my room now is like full of bags, and bag of Kitty stuff, everything will be soon done :D dream come trues.

anyway, he called me today ): my heart soften still, though i talked in a hard way, but i knew deep down inside that's not what i wanted to react, im happy yet im stress. boy, i dont want to play mind game with you anymore. im not like a toy, or whatever, dont call me when you needed me, or when you lost someone, or even when you needed help, you only make me feel that im taken for granted, do you know? best part is, im trying to move on, staying strong, and im about to sucess, you turned back. is not fun at all, i have enough, im sorry, but you know i've done things that you're not gonna accept, im not who you use to know, but a strong, brave, and a new me. still, ily ;

Jensabella's is sleeping, naughty and i know you guys miss her, here's one of her naughty pic ;D

♥ Gone, Forever;

2010-12-03T00:55:00.003+08:00

(: I'm back here, cause i knew my blog seem like is gonna rot like in any minutes, readers please continue reading alright? dont be so bad :D im just too busy with work, so dont blame me for not updating :D

well, recently been working and is been damn bored during th weekdays, and th raining day now, make it even worst what to do? end month is gonna be a busy month, cause Christmas is coming, NewYear is coming, and CNY is coming too. i might not be able to update my blog till im gonna be free. my laptop charger is spoil, and i really dont know what happen, it simply just charge half way, and stop-ed moving, does anyone know what happen? )':

my mum bday has just pass, and we took a family photo, is like a thousand year since we took photo together like this, now there's an extra one more, which is my baby :D just look at her smile in this photo, she's so damn cute, and now mentioning her, i miss her so much )':

gonna bring her out on Saturday, to Jurongpoint & then to TaoPaYao for Leroy full month :D gonna be a good day? I wanna shop for my HelloKitty stuff, i bought th chair, and im gonna order th table onlines now, and follow up gonna buy th cabinet probaly next weeks? well everythings gonna be done by end month? th concept of my room gonna be Hello Kitty for sure, plus painting, this and that.

Oh ya, end month im gonna put Geisha at my back too, is like finally my dream is coming true, one by one. Getting over him is like half way already, though i miss him still )': soon he gonna be out of my heart, and my mind. my dream of fullback geisha is coming too :D but everything is money now, oh dear, i really need to have saving, i have all th one dollar & fifty cent saving, gonna hit to 100$ soon :D LOLS.

friendship is drifting, one after another. this years dont seem to be good for me, next year gonna be a better year tomorrow is FRIDAY, many things to do on both Friday and Saturday )': tomorrow halfday gonna cut my hair again, yeahs i know is short already, but im gonna make it more short now :D follow up saturday planning gonna be a wonderful one, pls dont rain alright~

that's about all for today, im gonna order my kitty table and off to bed :D night everyone~ sweetdream :D

Two is better than one.

♥ Unspoken;

2010-11-30T01:39:00.002+08:00

(: Hello, im back, like finally after another weeks? Well, been busy with too many stuff, infact for th upcoming few month i would be dead busy and even tired to even start blogging, so please forgive if i neglected (: Jensabella's is growing well, see her angry face, she more and more cute, that i couldn't stand her, just wanna see her everyday;

life is just th same, working as usual. nothing much to share about. many things happening, a flash and now is better; but still, sorry dosen't heal th scar though it heal th pain, friendship going down, one after another, and eventually i can't be less bother anymore, i could say i've given up too;

(: im planning to make my whole room before CNY, and im planning to change th whole things inside my room, if possible, im re-painting my room in mid decemeber, a really hot pink (: and on one of th wall, i decided to make a huge/jumbo photo of my precious little princess, and then gonna make th room, hellokitty here and there :D like a cool right, please pray th plan gonna be sucess alright, if not im gonna be real disappointed, so ya, any ideal where to get hellokitty drawer, all sort of stuff?

im kinda of lazy to update more now, cause im like tired, so im gonna end my simple post now, to be back real soon :D bye readers ;

I still miss you )':

♥ Th First Step ;

2010-11-19T21:09:00.004+08:00

I'm back again, for my next update, or should i say my latest update? (: I'm real tired recently, i didn't have a good sleep ever since a week or two ago, thanks to my litte princess who is damn stubborn that didn't want to sleep and keep crying non-stop.

anyway, life's gonna be better, and im not giving up; there's many thing ahead waiting for me too (: so why live life as if there's no light, i had already choose to walk out from th life of Jenski, and definitely this is my final desicion, he choose his path, i choose mine. if he dare to say it, dare to mean it (: Ski, you get what im saying? you were th one who told me we should stop contacting, and there you're messaging me again; i've removed you from my FB, and though im glad that you actually went to stalk me, but i no longer see th point; im unlike your ex anymore, im not gonna cling on like a four, five years waiting for th leopard to change it spot, knowing that it never will. you simply have to pay for what you own, and i will be on time during th end month, for you to transfer back my money, im rather stupid or dumb enough to lend you money when you were jobless, ohmy i should have wake up from th day you had actually left me, from th day when your ex told me that you were making use of me. well, but is okay now, everything is over (: you aint better than any other guy out there, i know i will met one guy who is true, faithful and definitely way much better than you. trust me;

okay, no more about this J in my mind now, though i still miss him sometime. but what's th point of running around th circle, what's th point of making me cry and not being there to wipe away my tears? laughs, life is never about going around in circle, is about moving forward and see what's good waiting for you (:

i've been busy at work as usual (: no time for me to on my lappy so im rather sorry for my daily readers, pls forgive. anyway, life would be better now, i made a desicion to put my princess overnight at my grandma places, while im able to concentrate more on my work everyday, im rather sad that i've to do this, but i really can't stand her during th night time when i needed so much rest she didn't want to sleep, and just keep on crying till my whole family woke up to check on her; but im gonna bring her back during my off day and will be seeing her when i miss her (: so for th time being it would be this way;

something stressing me now, how many friends would be there for you all time, they called each other babies now and then, in their heart? are you their friends, all sometime, something less than that? no one is there to listen to your heart cry, isn't it. your care and concern, to them is just another lecture section, when you know you meant more to caring them, and taking care of them ;

okay, im not gonna post anymore longer, i need to do my stuff now. gonna take a puff and watch TV with my mum, and get to sleep, for work tomorrow (: night and bye readers.

wanna see how my princess now? here are two latest photo, she is more and more naughty now, but definitely more and more adorable :D

J, maybe life would be better off without you.

♥ A New Chapter ;

2010-11-15T03:07:00.006+08:00

YAWN :0 waiting for me to update isn't it, i know that im neglecting my blog ever since im back to work, but it was because im too tired, it was like really tired, it aint like just normal tired i use to have. I'm working almost day to night, and night to day. why? night time i need to take care of my naughty princess who always dont want to sleep, and make me can't sleep either )'; is torturing me, not sometime, but all th time.

anyway, im off tomorrow, so decided to give a quick, short and fast recap about this few day (: I'm off on Saturday, cause of princess, she give me sleepless night on th day before and I'm so tired, im just having an two hour short sleep, and i need to go to work, princess didn't want to sleep at all, she is so active in th night, i dont know why ): but currently she's sleeping so soundly that i wish she will sleep all th way till next morning, and dont disturb me while im about to sleep; so yeahs, God bless :D

anyway, here are PeiYi bday celebration photo, there's about ten here, th rest is uploaded in FB, there's so much that is impossible to upload all. afterall, im happy that Birthday girl did enjoy herself (:

PEIYI 18th Birthday Celebration ; ClubNana.

I bet this was th best, and fun night that all of us have. Sort of one baby, as she has something on, and didn't manage to turn up with us, if not it would be more fun that ever, i guess?

Well, good news. Teresa has decided to step up from th circle she's walking around. I've cut my hair short, if you notice on top of th picture, and th picture taken on Peiyi bday. Finally, i did it, and i cut with no regrets this time round, it's a big decision for me, but after cutting it, i felt more and happy, more relax, it just seem like all th burden have been taken away. (even though i knew he's still bothering me.) I just feel that no point holding on to something that will never end, happily ever after.

thus, after i cutted shot, i realise it isn't a bad things over all, so far im receiving good comment (: and i love it, thanks Fatty for th encouragement, if not i doubt that i would cut. I guess, i hope, and i pray that this time round i would be determine. :D 2011 is arriving, has any new resolution now? i've mine now, currently two in mind, i hope im gonna make it, will i?

bought a new book on Saturday, title is This Is My Story, a real life story that happen to a SG girl, during her teenage life, and about how's she gonna stand up and wake up from her fairytale to face the real world, th reality. Don't be shock, i do read book/story book, provided th story do attract me, dont expect me to read those drama and dream story that will never happen in th world; this story that im reading now, is rather meaningful, it teaches about how you could walk out from th darkness, im still half way through th book, i hope im able to finish it soon :D and i wanna be like her. someone who's strong enough, brave enough;

Friday im working th whole day, and due to my tiredness, i got an off on Saturday (: wake up in th noon and went up to have lunch with my so-called Daddy, and follow up to lan to catch up with my sis awhile, and headed to Pending to catch up with Joanne&Hanwei, cab-ed home then to grandma place, fetch Bella home and there's goes my off day on Saturday, a simple, quick and fast one.

Sunday, im working too, kinda bored day, not much people walking around th street, maybe due to th heavy rain, like really heavy that th street seem to be raining too :D LOLS~ after that headed to UpperDickson Rd, to have dinner with all my babies and boss, at Spicy Thai Thai Restaraunt (: not a bad places, didn't eat much as i dont feel hungry, im still on a diet i hope it will be a sucess one. :D

after that boss drive us home :D and here i'm now. Well, there's nothing more to update actually, im going off soon. Kinda tired already, many plan to do tomorrow, hope it will go smoothly as what i had plann-ed.

I got this part from th story that im reading now, it sound like what im going through in my last relationship, so i actually copied it out (: it's rather true, on how much im doing just to make this r/s last, but.. well, or prehaps, all guy are th same?

One who would chip in money to help him tide over his finacial crisis.
One would run all his errands so that he didn't have to fret about a things and focus on other stuff.
One who would clean up his mess and take of him, whenever he got drunk, and should he puke all over th places.
One who would always has his interets befores hers, even if it meant a whole lot of disadvantage and diffculty on her side.
One who wouldn't mind getting hurt as long as his well being is taken good care of.
One who would pretend that everything is perfectly fine just to make him happy.
One who would forgive him always for repeating th same mistake time and again.
One who, regardless of her body condition, would wait patiently for him to be home from NS or drinnking with his friends and brothers.
One who would spend time doing up his room just so that he could feel at home.
One who would worry when he's not back home, when he's not picking up any calls or replying to my messages.
One who would always understand and forgive his actions and behaviour.
One who would give in and apologise first in order to end a fight.
One who can withstands his cold treatment, which could last for day or even wekks. One who would do his bidding; even if it meant changing th contact number for numerous times and forgoing all friends and contacts.
One who always 24 by 7 on standby just for him, without complain.

I dont feel like mentioning him anymore, he msg me two days ago, asking me did i cut my hair short, and well i hestitated, till i made up my mind to reply. but, still feel th pain somehow or rather, im half way through this road, i hope im able to walk out completely, i wish he could just leave me alone.

but with no worries, i would be alone too, im not going in to any r/s; cause you know deep inside me, you're still th one, in silent; trust no men.

gonna end my post here, i bet is kinda long post (: nights readers. im turning in soon.

Dazed and shattered,
it really hurts to th core of my fragile bone.
All th pain I thought I knew,
They sank me deep into a bottomless pit,
making me breathless.
I can't handle this confusion and chaos.
I'm sick of being a weak pawn in these games of fate.

♥ Move-d On.

2010-11-11T17:24:00.003+08:00

Well, it has been damn long since i updated my blog, im really tired actually, busy working in th day and taking care of my princess in th night, really doesn't have any spare time to even on my laptop.

decided to give a short and simple update for today, and th past few day, if possible. Went to NaNa yesterday to celebrate Peiyi 18th bday (: have a great night, i hope everyone feel th same. we got more than three hundred photo to be uploaded, can you imagine how crazy we were yesterday night, but most importantly, i hope Peiyi enjoy-ed everything :D

anyway, im sad, im breaking down this few day cause of Jenski. but well now i've decided to delete him away, and definitely im moving on, i hate th feeling of being make use. i bet im just too dumb, too dumb enough to lend him money to spend on th other girl's. im always pretending that nothing is hurting me, pretending to smile as hard as i can, but do you hear me crying inside th heart? i bet this time round you have make me awake, but Jenski, im so gonna make you regret one day, you have a good girl, but you didn't want. i can't wait to see what's th ending of your life. im sorry, but im really cursing you with a bad ending in your life. i would say now, i hate-d you more than anything.

)'; okay, im sad~ my life would be better off without him isn't it? i hope so, i dont want post anymore, bye people. Jensabella's is doing well, im taking care of her, and definitely she has th best for everything.

sorry, you aint forgiven now,
not anymore.

♥ Fallen apart.

2010-11-03T02:00:00.003+08:00

): im breaking down in any minutes. i dont know why, but there's so much thing on my mind, so much things is stressing me, everything is now hitting me so hard, and im falling bit by bit, when im trying to climd upwards. i dont know who to turn to, i dont know who to speak to, but to bottle up everything inside my heart, can you imagine, someone trying to smile so hard, act nothings is wrong, when th heart is actually torn into a thousand, and million pieces? yeahs im one of it. im trying so hard to be strong in every single things. but, it seem like everything is drifting apart. &is breaking me down...

going to work every single day, just because i wanted to give th best to Jensabella's, just because i dont wish to give my parents any burden, just because i need to have a living of my own. im struggling every single day, worrying about tomorrow, i just wish that everything would be th way that i wanted, i just dont understand why can't it be.

im seriously sick and tired of everything, sometime i really want to give up everything. J do you know how much im struggling? do yo understand what im going through, do you even thought of thinking about th past, and try to mend back everything? i feel so tired for a moment, which i never had before, i feel like getting myself out from this circle without an end, is just like a cycle, running up and down, crawling here and there, and see where am i again, im still back to where it started )': i really need a break, i really want to be alone for a moment ):

you didn't know,
cause you were never me.

♥ FullStop

2010-10-30T01:35:00.002+08:00

(: I've decided to blog today, cause im not tired yet, and Jensabella's also haven't sleep. she lying down beside me, but i bet she will doze off in any minutes, she's 2month and 3day old now, definitely growing well, but she's a little bit tall )': just like her bad father, with long leg. anyway i dont know if this post gonna be long. but im gonna give a quick and simple update :D

went to NANA instead of Mango on Wednesday, and seriously it was a great thaidisco, compare to th rest that i've went so far. th song, th base and everything, but th mood that day was totally spoil. well, before i went my mood was already spoil to th max, thanks to J. and after that im kinda cool down already, and went on happily, but less that an hours after photo taking, fooling around, mood spoils. i dont wish to say anything here as i dont see a need, but i definitely hope that th up-coming plans would be a wonderful one :D that's th picture we took that nights. th rest is uploaded in FB.

was off on Thursday, went to fetch my princess from my grandma places and cabed down to Bugis to catch up with her, less than an hours rush to other places, and headed back to FarEast to catch up with Joyce! and shit~ i found so many clothing that i like in FEP~ im gonna buy a lot if i print money, i swear :D hahas~

well, but Thursday mood was a little spoil too )': i dont know why, but i bet i still cares though i didn't show, it hurt though i didn't say. sigh, anyway this isn't th right time to talk about this.

working almost everyday, taking care of princess every night. im really struggling hard, to give her th best, and i wouldn't give up so easily :D im must endure right, but i guess im kinda stress over working, idk was it im born this way and simply can't change, but my attitude is far way better than before when im pregnant~ okay, im trying to lose weight, seriously i need to.

guess that's about all, is getting late, im turning in now :D goodnights readers.

th only way to get over love is, say goodbye, &never say hello again, pick up th pieces but never fix it, and lastly feel th pain but never keep it.

♥ Nothing Last.

2010-10-27T04:22:00.003+08:00

(: Hello readers, I'm away from my blog for damn fking long isn't it. Here I'm now, and is like early in th morning 4:30AM~ I'm going to sleep after this post, im really tired but still choose to give a quick and simple update, my blog is rotting like hell isn't it? anyway, i just change my blogskins if you guys did realise (:

Bday celebration was over, a super high one! I was drunk and is really damn drunk. Well, though i fall damn fast, but i swear this year birthday is a wonderful one, and i hope it will goes on th same every year (: but th photo isn't as great as last year, im really fat in th picture, i wont upload all, but just a few, th rest has uploaded in FB. Went to clubburberry on my bday celebration, three martell and was finish like less that three hours~ here's th picture.

well, im so busy with work, and taking care of my little girl :D she's growing well, and today is th 27th, which is now she's two month old already. i really can't wait to see her grow each and every single day. now, my grandma is taking care of her, so i can go to work as many day as possible so currently this problem that is stressing me for month has been settle, like finally.

tomorrow will be going to Club Mango with my babies :D gonna be a good good nights alrights. at th same time im ending my post here, im lazy to type any longer :D nights people, will be back soon, maybe tomorrow or Sunday yeahs !

It's simple,
I miss you ):

♥ Full-Stop

2010-10-18T00:18:00.004+08:00

(: I'm away from my blogs for almost a week, im so sorry to neglect my blog. I really can't find time to update my blog. my handphone keep force close when i use AndriodBlogger. so dont blame me ): anyway, im here now. Going to give a keep recap for th past few day.

My birthday is two day away, im celebrating with all my babies at Club Burberry, instead of Rebel. hope is a wonderful celebration, seriously im still worry that im not gonna be happy that day )': well, shall not talk about that. I've been so damn fcuking busy with work, and i totally got no time, been working like almost everyday, and im only free during my off day. Been handling some work stuff and reach home, have to handle my baby, so i really like so busy~~

anyway im working tomorrow, so im going to bed after this post. bought a Musical Playmat for my little girl, Joyce just came back from oversea and she bought my baby many clothings too, can't wait to see what she bought for her :D Chun gave me a HelloKitty lighter too. LOLS~ wanted to pack my room table, end-ed up, i was so busy that i didn't do anything about it.

bought a new dress and heels for my birthday, wondering if it's gonna work, th dress is going to show my tummy. th heels is a little high, im afraid im going to fall wearing it, it has been like whole nine month i didn't wear heels already siahs~ God bless me then.

okay, im lazy to type any further now, im going to sleep, tomorrow need wake up early, nights people :D

It's O-V-E-R.

♥ You're Just Another Player;

2010-10-04T00:48:00.005+08:00

Hi! I loves th picture so much. Well, it's been so long since i last updated my blogs, and th best things is i got more than hundred photos to upload :D obviously i wouldn't upload all up here, it would be like taking my life away. have been fcuking busy this few day with all my girl's :D

meet up with Joyce, ShiHui&Minyi on Friday. Went to town, and we were like walking for hours. Before going town, Me&Shihui accompany Minyi to ShengShiong to get her BBQ item on Saturday (: then cab-ed over to meet Joyce at Wheellock. well, i had a great day with them, but somethng just turn-ed me off half way through, is like well, he never fail to disappoint me; anyway im like bringing my baby out almost everday. And is really tiring ): we went to eat at Sakae Sushi that day, stayed for almost two hours. photo are uploaded in FB, and here are two of them :D

Saturday, meet up with Peiyi before going to ECP to celebrate Minyi advance bday celebration :D went to BPP to get her bday present shop for like hours, going up and down to search for her present :D everything is ELMO for her (: but th balloon me and Peiyi brought for her FLYAWAY when she only manage to see one glance ): anyway it was a fcuking long day, cab-ed to ECP with Peiyi, together with my baby, cab fares was like a BOMB. didn't eat much, infact there's alot of picture. same thing, it has been uploaded to FB. not going to post all here. but i enjoy-ed myself, and i bet same goes to everyone.

(: that's all, im lazy to post like fcuking long. so that's all for th two days outing. im tired in life, and i've decided to see things in a brighter side now, not pining any more hopes on a leopard. life's move on, agree? going back to work on Tuesday, and Jensabella's going for injection tomorrow. back to work for full time now, need work had, to have a better life, nothings gonna break me down from now. shall update soon;

PS: Stop being fake! you have no right to control someone life, when he/she doesn't belongs to YOU.

You can feel when someone you hold close to your heart is slipping away, little by little. It’s when the mere thought of losing a friend can bring you to tears almost instantly. The pain you are beginning to feel can crush your entire heart. Yet everything that you try to do to solve the problems only push them further and further away from you. When the only chance of getting back to the way things were in the beginning is to hope this person realized what they may be losing.

♥ I Know, It Will Never Be Th Same.

2010-09-29T22:40:00.006+08:00

(: Sorry for not updating like so long, but well im back for my update now. I've so much to update, or infact alot of picture to upload. Sunday was Jensabella's fullmonth, and im rather busy and tired that day, running here and there to enter to th guest. I'm gonna start my update from that day, and follow up with a few pictre only, cause there's so much that I didn't want to upload all, so th rest shall be uploaded in my FB alright;

Woke up damn early on my babyshower, and i fcuking sleep only three hours that day, so im like super tired, and at th same time so looking forwards, definitely im praying that everyone will be there (: so early morning, i woke up bath for my baby and went to bath too, and prepare to wait for those guest arrival, my buffet is from 5PM to 10PM. but some came early, J's family came in th noon, cause her mum need to work in th afternoon. have a great chat with them, but i forget to take picture with them, was chatting all th way and forgot about it. J didn't came with them, he arrive in th evening with his friends.

after they left, awhile later went to Fajar LRT to fetch AhChun&Family too, accompany them to Fajar to eat, cause they're hungry like since morning (: LOLS. after they eat lerhs, was like 4pm already, and after that walked back home, and Valen came together with is husband and daughter, they seat awhile and left. so stayed in th room to play with Anjie&Anling. so cute alrights, after that guest came one by one, and soon my places became a childcare so many babies~! is so fun, see them running around, but im sure th aunties is more nosy than th babies. LOLS. but whatever it's thanks for those who came, and th present and angbao (: at th same time im really sorry that i can't attend to all of you cause I'm so busy to attend to every guest.

Here are the people who attended, "Ahchun&family, Valen&famiy, Joyce, Shihui, Minyi&Alfred, Jenski&family, Mel, Chenfong, Ervina&Family, Shuyi, Cherry, Ray, Aubrey, Janice&BF, Deping, XiaoEn, Nas, Meinah, Jac, Yuanmei, Yansin, Kaixin, Clement, Sherry&JJ, AhBlack. Hopefully I didn't miss out anyone! beisde my family&relative." and below are th photo, some people i didn't manage to take picture with them ):

Finally, Happy First Month to Jensabella's! I'm done with the photo. Now is time to update for yesterday. Well, went back to work yesterday and was like tiring, and im missing my baby so much, not use to having her beside me th whole day, but i was seriously too weak i guess, so long never take bus and th moment I reach bangkit, i choose to cab-ed home, and after that after i reach home straight away vomited like hell. work-ed for a day is like so tiring, guess been home for too long, but work was fun, at th same time im bored too ): no customer, and is like hell, sales is getting from bad to worst.

this week seem to be pack, will be meeting up with my mum tomorrow at her work places. Friday will be going out with Minyi to get her BBQ stuff, and Saturday will be going to ECP to celebrate her bday (: well, so this week im like fully book-ed. today im home th whole day, and sleep not much either. but there's nothing much to update now, im gonna end my post here. bye readers!

I'm not going to stress you much,
but i really need a firm answer.

♥ I Would Still Want You ;

2010-09-25T03:37:00.002+08:00

Decided to blog before going to bed, is rather late now is almost going to be 4AM. My princess is sleeping now, and seriously she love moving around, put her nicely on bed, and she struggle until out of th bed, even covering her own face, so cute of her.

So fast, is already Saturday and tomorrow is Sunday, which is my princess shower (: ohmy, im so looking forward in catching up with the mummies and my Girl's Home lovelies. at the same time looking forward to Tuesday, I'm going back to work! I bet im gonna miss my girl when im at work, but im not working a 6day now, but 3day a week. Pay would be so much lesser than my usual one, whereby i work almost evryday ):

Well, just wrote letter to Cynthia will be sending out tomorrow. Hope she is gonna be strong in there. I'm so looking forward to receive her reply. Okay, my eyes is so itchy now, i dont know why, but my eyes recently is not doing good. awhile later swallon, awhile later itchy, like WTH! Anyway, I realise I haven't pay my both HP bill, shall pay asap ):

That's all for now, im so fcuking lazy to update any longer, will update after Sunday (: please visit my blogshop. http://jloves-babyshop.blogspot.com

Sometime is best to left unspoken.

♥ And I Know, I Can't Get Over It.

2010-09-22T21:03:00.006+08:00

I've not been blogging for quite somtime, as in a real blogging. Well, I'm busy with my blogshop, and I seriously got no confindent that i feel like giving up sometime. I'm thinking if there's any readers still reading my blog, my formspring is so quiet recently, or infact for quite sometime already.

my family is all sick now, my dad right arm is in pain for almost 4day, and he didn't go to work, as for my mum she just started this morning, she's having headache, and now she keep vomiting, as for my brother he is running toilet since two days ago, he's having diarrhea. and me and my little princess is having running nose, i guess th weather is too cold. God please bless my family, all get well soon, alrights :D

okay, my baby must be spoil by me, she doesn't like to sleep on her coat, her comfortable or even my bed, she loves to sleep on me this few day, and my parents simply just say i've spoiled her too much. and they told me im gonna have hard time taking care of her from now onwards, well i feel that way too, when she started crying and shouting, both my parents carry her also no use, she just want me to carry her, LOLS*

anyway she's sleeping now, she fall asleep on me and now i have put her on my bed. pray hard she dont wake up so early okay (: let me and have a peaceful few hours for doing my stuff. today she were totally awake only at 3pm (: together with me. due to th rain and everything, she have a good sleep.

I've a great news to share, i lost 13KG in less than a month, please let me drop more weight till my pre-prengancy weight :D yesterday slept kinda late, both Shihui and Peiyi was at my places, we were chatting and laughing like crazy, i swear. is so funny of them, keep talking rubbish larhs. well, is glad knowing that they are always there, be it is joy, happy, sadness. and i believe that we dont need a big clique to be happy, but a small clique that will never leave us :D

my blogshop is damn quiet, i need more net shopper, please visit http://jloves-babyshop.blogspot.com to go to this website click HERE (: please show me some support, alrights (:

this sunday is arriving soon, in just another 4more day, im so excited :D i hope that it's gonna be a great fun day :D im planning to write letter to Cynthia tonight, i miss her sooooooo much, just hope she's going to stay strong in there. im going back to work SOON :D next tuesday, please arrive soon.

my birthday celebration is still not confirm yet, i will be celebrating, but still dont know where, Shihui suggested rebel. Peiyi suggested that we go marina barrage, but to go there, we definitely need own transport, if not we can never go there. another one suggest us to go SG flyer. so where should we go? we only can celebrate at night, cause all my babies is working, so how? club would be fun, enjoyable, to shake th stress away. pub, would be relax, and sing all th sadness away? LOLS. whaat th fcuk, so now how? ):

okay, im going to end my post here, im nagging so much today. but there's somthing i want to say before i end my post. i miss th past i have with J, miss th time he's always around me, though we didn't have much happy time, but i still loves th time with him, miss th time when he's sleeping next to me, and th first things i saw when i wake up would be him. well, things really change, now when i wake up th first things i saw would be what he have left for me, which is our princess. if only i could turn back th time, to th day when i first saw him, time fly it has been more than a year ): and th best part is, i've never wait for someone who hurt so deep for this long. . .

I Would Still Want You Back.

♥ Never Be Apart

2010-09-20T22:04:00.008+08:00

Okay, I'm sooooooooooo busy yesterday until today, busy with my baby blogshop. I decided to open a blogshop, and well, is done, is just th start and im afraid that it will not sucess, so i wish that readers and those mummies will give your support visit http://jloves-babyshop.blogspot.com for all pre-order item. (:

well, today went to BPP to buy my baby item, and headed back home. i've send out my buffet order, and everything has been confirm. well, looking forward to it. Jensabella's is lying down beside me now, she is damn fcukg naughty, can't put her down for more than 15minutes, she will start crying and start shouting. she is so use-d to been carry lurhs.

i dont want to blog so much today, purpose for today blogging is, i hope readers will visit my baby-blogshop ): ty.

&boy, i just want you.

Click HERE To Enter

Jloves-babyshop.bs.com

Jloves-babyshop.bs.com

Jloves-babyshop.bs.com

♥ Memories.

2010-09-18T22:29:00.003+08:00

:D I'm going to bath after this post. my little princess is sleeping now, this few day she seem to be having nightmare, she has been waking up from her dream with a big loud cry, im kinda worried. anyway she's growing up fast, she is now 20days old, and just another ten day is her FULL MONTH, okayokay, she's really my everything, i just want to give her th best, i need to have an stable income if not is really like well, words can't put it.

okay, i slept early yesterday, before 3AM im already in bed. woke up few hours later to feed my baby, and back to sleep again. so this continues all th way till 4PM, whereby my little girl doesn't want sleep anymore. so bring her to living room, and keep her accompany, watch TV and play my lappy all th way till now.

something hit me today, my boss say that i might be working at FEP all th way, instead of going to Bugis. well, after much thinking it seem like both side is fine with me now, though i prefer Bugis more ): working at FEP i have Joyce to keep me accompany, so i dont think i will be lonely, at th same time, i can see J more often isn't it, tsktsk. so now, final desicion I'll still discus with my boss, BUT at th same time, i still hope i can work at Bugis one day before fixing me in FEP. God bless me.

i've something in my mind now, i feel like opening a blogshop. but i dont really understand how this works, anyone can teach me? i need to know where to get stock or find supplier, the rest shouldn't be a problem for me, creating blog, and blad blad blad, should be fine. th only things is where to get stock or find supplier ): i need to get a stable income, beside working at Bugis/FEP i still wish i can have a own blogshop.

today, i saw Cherry'GF posted this in FB. an a LIKE to it, this is what im always thinking, she posted this, "Randomly, I missed girl's home life. Everything was so well planned nicely for us. We don't have to bother wad to do next, we don't have to bother about wearings & money. We just have to do wad was told & everything will be like so perfect in there(: even if we have to do hard chores, at least we got some true & loving... friends to stand by you. Isn't great? Aww, I wished I can be in girl's home=.=" can see from here how many of us wish-ed that we were still in there, instead of out here having so much stress isn't it.

well, life is bored now. im sticking with the same group of people everyday, which is my colleagues, who is always there for me, since th day i started working in Bugis, they will be there, though staff is always changing, but this group of us seem to stay in heart (: Joyce, ShiHui, Minyi, Peiyi, Peiyun i bet they have walked with me for a year, when im sad, happy, needing a shoulder to lean on, they are always there. being my listening ear, though time to time im unreasonable, but they never give up on me :D loves my KPO BABIES. AhChun, though we just knew less than a year, but she's always there for me too. and yeah, me and her look alike that people keep mistaken us as sisters. awwwwwwwwww, i want go back work ):

okay, i nag so much today. just feel like typing non stop. Anyway, Minyi&BF isn't coming today, as she told me she isn't feeling well, so i guess today no party at my house, Fatty say she will contact me later, so... ya, idk if she is coming, but im going to end my post now (: tomorrow should be going out to get Jensabella's stuff. that's all for now. BYE READERS.

Seduce my mind, and you can have my body.
find my soul, and I'm yours forever.

♥ Happily Ever After

2010-09-17T22:23:00.004+08:00

It's friday today, something hits me, which is popcorn(w/o popcorn) night, in SGH :D LOLS. a friday night where the management in SGH plan to give us a break and bring us to a hall for moveis. well, sometime i just miss those day (: those memories in there is th best moment.

well, im having strong headache since morning, and is damn pissing me off; th feeling isn't nice at all. woke up early today, since 10AM until now, only took an hour nap during evening time. suppose to go Lot1 with mum today, due to th heavy rain, stayed home. accompany my mum th whole day till she went to work which is around 5PM, went to take a nap? till near 7PM :D

Joyce&Yuanmei tgt with Shannon came over my place in th evening, Shannon is so cute, Joyce keep on bully her. LOLS* ended up Shannon threw temper. how i wish Jensabella now can talk with me, and play with me and even walk. but i believe time flies, this is part of growing up (: so, be patient.

Jensabella's full month is coming soon! ohmy, im so excited, she is going to be one month old soon :D im going to start to place order next weeks. tonight nobody is coming, so im going to sleep early, cause tomorrow Minyi&Bf is coming over. yesterday night, Fatty came over, chatt-ed with her all th way till 4AM. and she headed home, while and went to bed.

guess that's all, nothing special to update. going to end here. can i've a longer post tomorrow? ): BYE READERS!

A true man doesn’t need to romance a different girl every night.
A true man romances the same girl for the rest of his life

♥ Jusr Another Day.

2010-09-16T20:44:00.004+08:00

Finally, my princess is asleep now, she's awake since 5PM. well, im like kinda tired, dont have enough sleep once again, yesterday night all my babies is out to PH&Rebel, so left me alone. nobody accompany me, beside my little princess. but did met up with Yansin awhile, but he came kinda late, and is really piss-ing me off. finally he reach at around 1AM, chatt-ed awhile, and he left.

off to bed, after feeding Jensabella's and pat her to sleep. next Sunday is Jensabella's full month, and everything is settle (: all th catering is finally done, just that i haven't place any order yet. shall wait till next week, and start to place order, my buffet catering will have 11 dishes, and im wondering will th food be finish? like dude =.=" what if everyone is too shy to take th food? cause they dk one another? LOLS* i know i think alot. hahas;

there will be a few girl's home girl, and i bet this is th chance for us to gather up together again, ever since we discharge, we hardly gather up like sucha big group (: at th same time, there's a few mummies&their babies too (: gonna catch up with th mummies, know them more and might have a chance to even hang up with them! and of cause i didn't miss out th rest of my friends, well my kpo babies are mostly working, dk if they are able to make it, but i do hope to see everyone. im sooooooo looking forwards, and i hope it goes same to everyone who is coming?

my eyes is still swallon, and my mum told me my eyes might have effection, due to wearing too long of contact lense. ): my eyes please recover soon, i can't stand th redness, and the un-clear vision!

ohya, th Hello Kitty Rompers, Ladybird & Bee Rompers should be arriving this few days? this evening will start posting, and i hope i can receive soon (: LOLS. wanted to give my little princess wear th Hello Kitty Rompers on her full month, but im afraid is too big for her ): so how? sad-ed lei, cause i order a little bit bigger, cause new born baby grow fast isn't it (: nahs, whatever it's, she will be able to wear it one day.

im looking forward on going back to work too, i miss those fun i have down there with all my cute, irritating babies! and of cause my stupid boss, who always entertain us with alot of rubbish. LOL* really can't wait man, TIME PLEASE MOVE FASTER :D

this year birthday how? Pub/Club/Disco? LOLS* or none of it? dont celebrate? seriously, i dont know where to celebrate lei )': Oasis clos-ed down already, so it seem like i got no place to enjoy myself, but i do msis Oasis alot :D whatever it's i want a HAPPY BDAY this year, not what i have last year, please.

well, well, i guess that's all for my update today (: im going to stop here. Bye readers, and those STALKERS.

sometime re-winding th past,
make me smile ♥

♥ Loves Conqure All.

2010-09-15T22:40:00.003+08:00

Back, for an short update. I slept quite early yesterday, and is seriously early than usual. I went to bed yesterday at 2AM, and woke up at 1PM, whereby usually I will wake up only at evening. But th feeling of having enough sleep was great, really great.

Okay, Jensabella's is currently asleep. she got a fright today, and now she's crying like almost all th time. I've to spend more time with her, dont want her to feel scared. see her cry, i heart pain lurhs ):

grandma came today to cook for me again, and that's what i eat th whole day. i only ate a plain rice, with fish&meat. that's all. seriously hope i can slim down soon, like really soon, im like fat ): i dont like, though some of my clothes i can wear le, but still i dont like, i want continue slim down, to my pre-pregnancy weight.

today is Wednesday, which is ladies night, all my babes are out to club (: sooooooooo, im going to sleep early today (: well, next Sunday is my little princess fullmonth, ohmy~ evrything is not settle yet. my house is still a little bit messy, so i need to get everything done by next weeks, in order to look presentable right? LOLS.

those that i hope will come, and expected to come are all coming, i bet is going to be a great day, hope nothing spoil my baby full month. seriously, looking forward, and definitely hope other people are looking forwards too (:

i guess that's all for today post, nothing special right. oh ya, for those mummies who haven't buy any breastpad yet, my suggestion is dont buy tollyjoy de, it's really suck alright, pigeon is still th best :D okay, that's all, bye readers.

i hate that bitch, more&more.

♥ Nothing's Impossible.

2010-09-14T22:22:00.006+08:00

Well, im here to update my blog. my eyes is swallon and in pain for three, four day already ): and is still not healing yet. what should i do? any suggestion how to cure.

(: im so tired, and i know im saying this everyday. yesterday, Joyce, Shihui&Peiyi left my place at 4AM, and i seriously craving for Mac, breakfast delux. &eventually, i sercertly went to Fajar mac with Joyce, while my little princess is sleeping so soundly. ask-ed my brother to keep an eyes on her, while i went out for awhile.

today, i bet no one is coming, cause im damn tired, so decided to sleep early tonight, after watching all my show (: this few day been doing th same thing, and my blog is like nothing to udpate lurhs.

well, im going back to work on 28Sept, and i really can't wait to go back, im so bored, stuck-ed at home for so long, no income and blad blad blad. anyway, im looking forward to my baby fullmonth. can't wait to gather with all my Girls Home friends. &of cause those young mummies too. there's so many things to look forward to isn't it. i hope that it's gonna be a enjoyable day!

:D Jensabella's is 18day old now, and soon she will be three weeks old. so happy to see her growing day after day. but she's a little bit difficult to take care recently, and is giving me a big headach, i have to approach to her if not she is going to cry until like my whole house going to collapse. LOLS! but, no matter what she's definitely my bundle of joy. im really trying to be patient, and giving in to her all th time.

going to stop here, i've nothing to post at all. life is bored, my everyday is th same, nothing much to say (: goodnights readers.

unrequit-ted loves

♥ Nothing's Is Forever

2010-09-14T02:55:00.002+08:00

(: I'm here to update my blog again, is kinda late now but im still awake, cause Joyce, Shihui & Peiyi is at my place now, we're like having party. I'm using my mum's laptop while Joyce is currently using mine. now they are sending song, spended time downloading those song from the movies Step Up3 & Street Dance. I swear some of th song is so nice.

anyway, im fcuking tired. i didn't have enough sleep like dont know how many days already. I guess i really need more rest, my timing like change already, today i woke up at 6PM, which is th time my grandma came. she bought dinner for me, at th same time my princess also wake up wanting to drink milk le, so my grandma help me feed her, while i have my dinner.

secertly went to bath today after my grandma left, stayed at watch TV after that. that's all for today nothing special. ShiHui came yesterday night too, watched Stepup3 in youtube, but it isn't clear at all, and seriously i didn't understand at all, cause im like not in th mood to watch, keep have to click this and that, so in th end i didn't really watch th whole show.

i found Cynthia, and she has been sentence to RTC/CWP for 3years, and i'm kinda sad to hear that. 6years of her freedom was totally gone. I got her address, and i guess im going to write letter give her, she always stand a place in my heart :D laughs, many things is flashing back, so many thing. . .

sometime in life, we just hope that time would stop for us, but th fact we have to accept that th time will never stop; okay, seriously my eyes is closing like soon. so i guess i shall stop my update (: gonna be back for more. bye readers & STALKERS.

&Life's Is Beautiful

♥ I Hope You Were Still Here

2010-09-12T21:58:00.002+08:00

Hello (: I'm back. I know if i dont update my blogs, those stalkers are bored, cause they got nothing to stalk, or even know anything, worst will make their heart think from A-Z right? LOLS, but seriously im like so lazy, my princess is mind fcuking me. and i swear, im tired ): i didn't have enough sleep. my eyes bags is so obvious, and even my dark circles alright.

she's getting hard to take care recently, been crying like non-stop, and i dont even know what she want. give her pacifier she dont want, drink milk also not th right time yet. she would only stop crying when i carry her, i feel that she is so use to being carry le lurhs, oh my. is giving a big headache ): im going to cry for help sooner or later.

I realise i didn't update my blog since two day ago. there's so much thing to update isn't it? actually not really, my house like having party everyday (: LOLS. everytime got different people coming to my place. th day before yesterday, Shihui came, and keep me accompany, and i swear she's like a PIG, she came and half way through she's going to fall asleep. that day she stayed until 7AM in th morning, and yesterday she came, same thing happen, fall asleep again, and seriously she sleep like a piggggggggggggg! no matter how also wont wake up. but lucky, yesterday got Joyce too, to keep me accompany (:

hahas, chatted with her & have mac together, but i didn't eat much, order a macwing meal! and i ate only two pieces of it and have two apple dipper, that's it. i didn't eat th rest. i dont like fries either~ watched street dance together, and this is th fifth time im watching already. well, i can't wait to watch STEP UP 3! can th disc come faster;

okay, i have change my blogskins if you realise. i just change tody, and this is th first time it took me more than an hours to change th whole blogs. i nearly want to give up changing. but still, i manage to finish in three to four hours time. LOLS* is part of my hobbies too.

oh, J came yesterday, to see my princess, was kinda soft heated after all. i seriously miss him, but i dare not tell him, i seriously want him back, but i know i gonna have a hard time if im with him again. i seriously wanted him to be my everything, but i knew his life can never be stable ): what to do? i really hope that he is a better guy. but still, i appreciate that he cares about th baby, and even bought some stuff over for me. hope that things will get better, day after day.

well, i guess that's all for my update, wondering is sleeping beauty coming over today, geuss that's about all. bye readers`

PS:Sorry mum, i knew you care about me,
i know you didn't want see me get hurt,
but i promise you, i wouldn't be stupid again.

if only i can turn back th time.

He's Still Th One ♥

2010-09-10T22:39:00.005+08:00

Hey, I'm here once again. (: today is Hari Raya but doesn't have th feel at all, cause I am at home th whole day, bored dead me seriously, I'm having th urge to change my blogskins again, is like im so sick of my current blogskins, which mean my habit didn't change at all, i still like to change my blogskins like almost two, three month once.

(: okay, yesterday Shihui&Peiyi both came over to my place. Chatted with them, laughing non stop, but i loves chatting with them, talking cock and rubbish with them, but they didn't stay long yesterday, both went off early.

this morning wake up, at around 11AM, but definitely i did wake up earlier than that to feed my little princess. i didn't really take care of her th whole day, cause my mum is at home, so they actually help-ed me. so i took my time, to pack my room, shift my bed, and stuff (: at th same time, i pack-ed my little princess cupboard.

sooooooooo, now i finaly have th time to update my blogs and th fact i got not much to update, my this year bday, what to do? how should i celebrate? last year i have a damn fcuking, unforgettable bday, and i dont wish this year th same thing happen can? and i wish all my KPO BABIES is gonna be there, this is last year bday pic, with my babes.

i pray, i pray, this year im gonna have a best bday ever, can?

shall update my blogs soon (: Shihui might be coming today! &yes, i miss J.

suddenly we were miles apart,
two different people, with nothing the same.
it was as if we hadn't been together,
although we knew deep in our heart,
neither one of us was to blame,
i've try to let it go,
but th hurt dont seem to go,
th pain of losing you, made me cy.

&My Heart Will Go On.

2010-09-10T00:06:00.002+08:00

YOYOYO (: i bet stalker are all waiting for me to update. I know my blogs got a few stalker right. LOLS* some are friends who care and concern, some are just being KPO. Anw, my babygirl is asleep so soundly in my room now, i love her so much, she can make me forget everything just by looking at her, and i really thanks God for giving her to me, and im sure no matter how hard th road is im not going to give up, and this is what i can be sure of.

well, let's start from this morning, or infact last night? LOLS, Shihui came over to find me, after she slack with Peiyi at Fajar mac. she came and chatted with her while playing my lappy, and awhile later, she doze off beside my baby girl. piggy her, right? should change her name to piggybombom. she left at around 4AM, and eventually i went to sleep too.

sleep till 7AM near 8AM, wake up to feed my babygirl and headed back to my sleep, and my grandma call-ed. told she will be coming early, and blad blad blad. went back to sleep again, and my FCUKING PHONE RING AGAIN, this time round is NUH~ social worker, and i was so tired that half way through she talking, i hang her phone, and switch my phone to offlines mode, im so freaking tired, and i really need a rest.

and so after that i thought i could have a good sleep, BUTBUTBUT, my grandma came an hour later to wake me up, and so ended up i didn't have a good sleep! had fishball noodle this morning, and my grandma help my babygirl to bath, and seriously th way she bath my girl is th same way as how my mum bath for my girl, like photocopy! so cute, like mother like daughter. tsktsk!

after that rest awhile at living room, while my grandma prepare early dinner for me, cause she have to go work at 4PM, so she told she will cook first, and ask-ed me to make hot myself, so well, after she left i went back to rest, thought i could really rest this time, BUT Yansin called me, so ask-ed him to come over.

by th time he reach i only nap for an hour, keep him accompany in living room, watching TV, while waiting for his friends! ended up waited all th way till night time. LOLS (: stay-ed home th whole day, keep calling Shihui and tell her how piss off i was, how angry and how disappointed i was, and blad blad blad. okay, decided to share th stories here.

I got to know this particular guy from FB, or should I say he know me a year ago? when i celebrated my bithday last year. whatever it's, i dont know him, cause i had a bf last year, which is J. so i didn't bother who is there, who is in th pub, or whatever shit. this guy told me i left a deep impression on him, this and that. with all his word, and of cause i told him im going to be a mother soon, and he told me he was a father of a girl who is 2years old now, so i actually thought he was a single father, BUT it wasn't. he told me was complicated, doing seperation.

I'm convince with all his words, and of cause i didn't trust him that much, till he accepted th friends request from my facebook, and guess what. his status still married, and worst, th wife is pregnant now. how am i going to trust him with all his words, im seriously sorry that i had to check on him so much, because i really can't trust guy, especially when i was about to trust him, i know so much stuff about him. is disappointing seriously, but well, i got no feeling for him, this is a sure answer, and today he message me told me, he was disappointed in me, cause he thought i had already get over J, but i wasn't.

well, if i really get over J, my life would really be as simple as ABC, that's all. i wouldn't think of him everyday, i wouldn't need to wonder if J is doing good, i wouldn't need to bother if J cares about her daughter, but my heart really cares alot. and i knew deep down, i said i had given up, my heart didn't. at least im being honest. unlike him, lying to me, this and that, and make me dig out everything on my own.

whatever it's he say he would explain to me, and told me to trust him, and so he did it in FB today, but i still doubt his words a little bit, but disappointing part was my last year bday, J did something that i didn't know, till i got to know today. is like almost a year, and then i get to know. im really disappointed, seriously disappointed that i feel like crying, but i didn't.

i didn't forget my last year bday, even by a little moment, i remember every single thing, i remember seeing you chatting with a girl, i remember you told this girl i wasn't your gf, i thought it was just this, till today this guy told me, you actually kiss this girl. BUT he say you were drunk, but to me i know you wasn't it was my bday, im not even drunk, how can you be drunk, i went back to your place that night, i know you wasn't drunk at all. im really disappointed, and i bet that's th best bday i ever had in my whole life, and even spended my actual bday in hospital knowing all th ugly truth, J oh J, what did i do to deserve all this )': and why can't i get over you..

now im wondering, should i trust this guy, should i give him th chance to prove his love, (i might become the third party) if th wife and him still did not file a divorce. and th upcoming baby in his wife? so many thing, how to trust his words.

whatever it's my heart stand a place for J, and will always do. if only someone could make me get over him, i dont want anymore come and go r/s i wanted someone who will come, and hold my hand, till th very last breath of my life. that's all, im not asking much, i no need someone who is rich, someone who drive, i just need someone who can love me wholeheartly.

well, that's all for today post. last but not least, Selemat Hari Raya (:

If we love somebody,
would it be this strong,
I'll fight our loves will conqure all,
I wouldn't risk our love, even just one night,
our love will stay my heart.

Th Memories ♥

2010-09-08T23:06:00.005+08:00

:D I'm here again, some stupid childish lame people is asking me LAME&STUPID question in my formspring, well i dont bother, seriously (: get a life, dont come here ask me stupid question or should i say spam my formspring, dont make me laughs.

anyway, woke up quite late today cause Jensabella's wake up at round 7AM to have her milk and went back to sleep, so i went to sleep too (: and woke up at 11AM, cause the naughty girl want drink milk again. slacked awhile at home, and get myself ready to go NUH.

well, due to th rain, im like really late but didn't wait too long, saw my scar, and eventually took out th stitches today, is kinda pain. after th stitches remove-d it isn't that pain anymore (: and i feel relieved. BUTBUTBUT, th scar & stretch mark is making me sad, anyone can tell me? is it possible to remove th stretch mark? any cream that will cure, or maybe lighten th scar ): is scary and i dont like.

after check up, cab-ed to WestCoast Plaza, and th taxi drive pass a familiar places, make me think back some happy memories i actually have, a year ago, or eventually more than a year ago (: at West Coast Park, i bet that's th moment i wish it would stop. cause that's th happiest moment i ever had, since im out from Girl's Home.

okay, i ate pasta mania today. sooooooooooo long didn't eat already, and today i got to eat, tsk tsk, wodering why im eating that, and not doing my confinement right :D sometime we just need a little break time (: and i did enjoy myself out there, with Jensabella with me, everything is wonderful.

Jensabella's full month invitation have been sent out, and i do hope most of my friends appear, especially all my KPO BABIES, but they're all working )': only a few turning up, that's very sad isn't it, but Girl's Home friends are not neglected, they are invited, and some are coming, gonna see them like really soon.

I'm gonna end my post here, i didn't know what to update, bye readers. oh ya, I lost 1KG again :D jiayou TERESA.

Th Love I'm Yearning For,
Was All From You.

♥ Turn Back,Will You?

2010-09-06T19:54:00.003+08:00

Finally i've th time to settle down and update my blog. Jensabella's keep crying today ): I dont know why, no matter what i do also no use, I'm so tired lurhs. Anyway, SherGF&Ru'buddy came over yesterday to see Jensabella's, bet they enjoy themselve too. Jensabella's wake up when they were here, so they actually took a few picture with her :D

my anutie and family came over yesterday too, so my house is like so noisy. at night they went to Fajar to eat, and i couldn't eat ): confinement really sucks, someone please turn th clock, and make it run faster!

I've lost 10KG after birth till now, i hope it continue drop, to my pre pregnancy weight :D Wednesday is coming, im going to NUH to see my scar, and my stitches. ohmy, it's gonna be a scary one.

i've d/c from girl's home, more than 18month already, kinda miss inside life, where you know there's always someone who will be there for you, hais. i miss CynthiaLYT! shit her, why have FC. heard that she is in remand now ): at th same time i miss my daddyDENZ, miss the short period of loves i've with her inside. if th r/s continues, i bet i dont have today. but there's just too much things words can't finish explaning, but th fact is i really miss her, 3 month more, she is going to be out, but no one know her d/c date;

oh ya, my baby full month had already settle, going to celebrate. but how many people coming im still not sure, im going to settle by end of this week, and start inviting people :D and well, guess that's about all for today update. bye readers!

PS: thanks moon for the gift (: appreciated.

Is never easy to settle down,
when you have two kids from different women.

♥ Perhaps, I Still Want You Back.

2010-09-04T16:51:00.008+08:00

YOYOYO. I'm here to update my blog, &seriously speaking, im feeling hungry now cause I haven't eat anything )': today my grandma not free to come over and cook for me, so i need to settle my tummy myself, i ate only apple in th morning, and drink a bottle of fish essence, and now im hungry.

wake up rather late today, usually i'll wake up befor my dad's is awake, but today i didn't, till he went off to work, and my mum came in and called me. I'm like super utral tired, LOLS. my mum help my little princess to bath while i go get myself prepare. is good to feel love-d, when i woke up, i have everything prepare for me, my bathing herbal, my fish essence and even my milo (:

well, after i had done everything, i went to take a nap, as my princess is sleeping too, mum went to work. i slept in th living room, to keep my princess accompany. okay, anyway im kinda piss off with my brother & his bitchy gf, seriously. i coudn't stand th act anymore, quarrel with my brother when he bring her home, and fcuk he shouted back at me, like well, i dont own him any shit. im just doing what my mum actually order me to do! _|_ drop this topic, and fcuk tt bitch.

okay, didn't touch my phone till 2PM, and i realise i got miss call. didn't see th number properly, and i thought was from J, and after that, take a close look was J's mum. Hais, th mother seem to care more than he does, im sick of this, and i dont want to listen anymore, i dont want to know anything from now. i miss him, yes i do, but it hurts me more to even think about him.

next update, Shihui, Peiyun&Peiyi came over my place yesterday middle night. I bet they did enjoy themselve with my little princess, took alot of snap shoot while they playing with my little princss :D and this PeiYi keep running away from my camera, till she bth, wear sunglass and let me take a pic ♥ so cute of them .

Th rest to be uploaded in FB, im so lazy to upload everything here :D

&Lastly, Peiyi, Shihui&Peiyun ♥

(: that's all for today update, think going downstair to get something to eat; anyway just finish watching StreetDance, is a nice movies 4/5. now watching Th Expendables, and to be honests, i didn't really watch, just open and let it runs, so ya. im waiting for Step Up 3! ohmy, I really wanna watch that movies so badly. ohya, there's a video of Jensabella's, taken by Shihui. actually th video suppose to be cuter, but we missed that part, so ya, see she cover her faces so adorable :D

that's all. bye readers ;

Th feeling of wanting you back,
th feeling of wanting you to be by my side,
caused me to break down and cry, sometime.

♥ Baby Lovesssss

2010-09-03T19:53:00.003+08:00

Hey yo :D im here to update again~ I'm so so so so tired, i bet i really need extra sleep, really extra sleep, I'm so tired all day. I wake up damn freaking early today, thanks to my baby. She woke up at 7AM to have milk, and didn't want to sleep all th way, so i have to keep her accompany all th way.

after that waited for my mum to wake up, and headed to ICA to make her birthcert, and ya, stupid me~ my number was G021, and th moment i go in was my turn, and i didn't realise, i thought my number was G029, and both me and my mum sat down there like so stupid, waited for like almost half an hours, realise that i actually miss-ed my number.

anyway, cab-ed over and cab-ed back home, was a fast and short trip, and i swear is so bored, how i wish i can continue shopping, ohmy confinement faster end, please! i'm bored dead at home, sick of confinement food, sick of staying home, i wanna bring my baby out :D

this sunday, Cherry&Co is coming over if im not wrong. I'm not sure who is coming, but i knew there's people coming :D so ya, guess that's all for my post, im so tired. i wanna rest :D bye readers!

&Perhaps, I Still Care ♥

I Still Miss Youuuuu ♥

2010-09-02T20:07:00.003+08:00

:D My little princess is sleeping so soundly beside me now. So decided to give an quick update before shutting down my lappy, batt is running low, hopefully i will be able to update finish, instead of going to my room i take th charger out, im so lazy.

Okay, finally today is Thursday, and tomorrow is Friday, which means im able to go out for a walk, though is a short trip, but is better off staying home, like shit ): im going crazy, eating th confinement food, plus doing th same thing. pls, confinement faster end can?

Jensabella's is always sleeping, ad she will eventually wake up in th middle night, and not wanting to sleep. and i've to keep her accompany all th way. but thanks God, yesterday me and Shihui manage to make her sleep. so I could actually sleep till morning :D like a finally;

my breast is pain, im going to pump my milk out tonight, i can't tahan anymore, so swallon and pain. anyway, yesterday Sherry&Priscilla came over in th night, to see my little princess, and went off at 12AM, Shihui came along too, after her work, and she kept me accompany till 4AM. LOLS :D and went she saw my little princess smiling, she like so high like that!

dont think im celebrating baby fullmonth, maybe just order th gift box, and give out to my friends, and relatives. im still considering, as th celebration would be on Sunday, and my friends are mostly working, so i dont see a point of opening, when most of my friends are only able to come after 10PM~ so ya, i need some suggestion, should I held a buffet? or should I not?

so bored, my little princess going to wake up soon, i guess, she need to drink milk already; so i guess im going to end here before she start crying out loud. bye readers :D

wondering how's life with you, you dont seem to bother at all. a call, and that's it. after i discharge, you dont even bother to text me, ask about my baby, you dont even give a damn to it, if that's th case, im seriously telling you, if you and Grace broke up already, dont you come and text me and ask about Jensabella. since you dont bother for now, so mays well, dont bother in th later part alright. I'm going to give up on hoping you would care, or even show a little concern. maybe this would be better. takecare my ♥

th reason of me, and her, was you

♥ My Little Loves

2010-09-01T20:50:00.002+08:00

HELLO :D I'm here to update again, im so bored of th confinement food now, is only less than a week im eating, and im getting sick already, can you imagine, i still got at least 3weeks to go )': can someone eat for me on behalf?

anyway, see my ♥baby, th way she sleep~ is like always th same, she love covering her ear isn't it. she give me a bad night yesterday, didn't want to sleep, and was so awake from 1AM, all th way till 5AM, thanks God i slept in th afternoon yesterday, but today i didn't sleep in th afternoon ): so it means if tonight she's not gonna sleep, and going to open her eyes wide, im dead. really, i will be even tired.

im rather bored now, Sherry is coming up today, but is like 9PM already, wondering did she lost her way somehow (*LAUGHS). after that, Shihui is coming up today too, she got things wanna tell me, or infact she need some advice;

my tummy is still big now, as if inside still got another baby, hope it going to be flat soon, please. my clothing is waiting for me to wear them back. Friday is coming soon, im able to go out, going to ICA with my mum, to do my baby birthcert. And next Wednesday going to check my wound at NUH. Hopefully th stitches has drop, my wound is still pain in anyway, idk how to stop th pain. after eating th medicine, it doesn't make any different ):

my breast is pain&swallon. th milk is producing, and is damn pain. I'm knda tired now, (*YAWN) guess i shall not post any longer, staying home really make my blog plain, and nothing to update. so ya, bye readers.

I'm Still Trying ♥

2010-08-31T17:17:00.004+08:00

Well, im so tired now, my baby girl is asleep now, and see th way she sleep~ with her hands covering her ears, really buay tahan her. so adorable baby of mine. anyway, im so tired doing confinement now, so tired of eating the food, drinking those stuff )': someone please save me. time please pass faster~

i did have a little bit of sleep yesterday, as Jensabella's is sleeping so soundly that she refuse to wake up and drink her milk. LOLS* yesterday Shihui & Minyi came, and came in th late night, like super late, at 1AM. but my baby is sleeping so they only could peek at her awhile, and stayed at living room watch TV and play my lappy. awhile later, im tired, so told them to go back rest (:

sleep all th way till 5AM, wake up feed baby drink milk, and after that hoping she would sleep, but she didn't, infact her eyes open so wide staring at me, how to sleep now? so ended up, i keep her accompany, but did sleep awhile, while she playing alone (:

mum's wake up and help her bath, and feed her drink milk lerhs, she doze off and same goes to me, i went to sleep too~ all th way till 3PM :D guess this should be th right way, she sleep, i also sleep, so i wouldn't be tired barhs.

this Friday going to ICA, to do my baby birthcert. And next thursday going to NUH to check my wound. I'm seriously hoping that my wound will recover soon, is pain this few day, especially when i cough, sneeze, etc. i really couldn't stand th pain ): pls pls, recover faster, tummy please flat down soon! i want slim down! shall post till here, as short as possible, feel like sleeping still. bye readers ;

After all th pain and tears,
look at th rainbow of your life,
it's totally worth.

Second Day W Jensabella.

2010-08-30T22:36:00.004+08:00

(: I'm here to give a quick and short update, as Jensabella's is currently asleep, and she's sleeping so soundly. PeiYun&Bf just left my place, they came to visit me and see Jensabella, they bought her a set of colthing :D (L)appreciated. Minyi&Shihui will be coming later too.

yesterday Shihui came over to visit her too, and well my baby like kinda of popuplar, HAHAS :D everyday sure have people visiting her, tomorrow Sherry will be coming to my place too~ LOLS. feel so happy for her, and really feel so happy, knowing that there's so many people around me ~

Jensabella's is giving me sleepless night, i understand how hard it's to be a mother now, especially came to know that you are tired, and not able to sleep, cause your little baby isn't sleeping. and she's wanting to stay by myside, wanting to be pamper. so cute of her :D no matter what, she's my one and only precious.

:DD okay, guess im going to stop here for now, shall update again tomorrow. I'm tired, i didn't have enough sleep still. bye readers ~

for those wanting to know my birth story, just scroll down, and find th link Jensabella's birth story will do.

&That's When I Love You.

♥ Jensabella's Home With Me (:

2010-08-29T23:41:00.004+08:00

OHMY, I've open this window for so long, my Jensabella dont want sleep )': I've to keep her accompany. Anyway I'm discharge from hospital today, really have a hard time sleeping there, not because of baby, but because of my wound )': is hurting me, i couldn't flip, this and that.

But anyway she is adorable for a moment i just felt that she's looking at me, and smiling at me, you wont know this feeling till you're mother :D stil couldn't accept th fact that she is my daughter, who have been with me for whole 9 month inside my tummy.

i doubt i could post any longer, though now she's asleep (*finally) but i need to get prepare for her milk. i guess is true, this is just th begining, im still having a long way ahead (: im going to endure, for my baby.

thanks for those who actally come and visit during my stay in hospital. (L)
Joyce, Dan, WeiTing, Moon, J's Family (*except him), Evrina, XiaoHei, Eileen, YanSin, Winnie, RenJie, LianLian and also, Teckheng & Teckchye.

&yes baby, mummy love you and will always do.

Birth Story Of Jensabella's ♥

2010-08-29T18:02:00.005+08:00

Birth Story Of Jensabella's ♥♥♥

♥ Jensabella Sim, 27August2010.

A 27 hours of struggling, before I could actually see my baby girl. Turn back th time to 26 August, in th early morning 10:30AM, that's when my water bag burst. I was sleeping so soundly, and eventually woke up cause i feel something coming out from my vaginal. So I actually went to the toilet, with hesitation, thinking was it just a little bit of urine, or really is my water bag burst.

Eventually headed to th toilet, holy shit, not just water bag burst, but blood too. How I knew, cause both water and blood came out together, and to be honest, i was scared, at th same time nervous, cause I was home alone. Decided to call my dad first, and he told me he isn't free, as he wasn't at work place, and told me to call my sis instead, rang up my sis, she didn't answer, that's make me even lost and scared, called my brother as he is working there, and told him to ask my sis answer th call, he told me my sis was sleeping, and of cause i ask him to wake her up, and ended up he say that sis couldn't wake up, she sleep like a pig, and th office room is lock, well is kinda complicated for a moment, couldn't get any help, and so rang up my dad again, and he told me to get myself ready, he will cab over.

so while waiting for my dad, i went to bath, and rang up AhChun, follow up message Joyce, cause she told me to go FEP to find her. God's not with her, cause i remember I joke with her, telling that I couldn't make it cause Jensabella will be out that day. And is so true, my waterbag burst in th morning (:

by th time my dad reach, it was like almost 11.15AM, went down together with my labour bag, and things. hoping that I'm going to have a smooth and fast delivery. but it didn't go my way, i've a hard time in there, really hard time, though everything is really worth it. Reach NUH is already 11:44AM, my dad waited outside, while i went in alone, inside labour ward, they start doing th CTG, check if my water bag really burst, at th same time check to see how much i've dilated, and well was only 1CM, I wasn't wrong at all` im going to have a hard time.

was at labour ward all alone, till 1PM? my mum came, and she keep me accompany in th labour ward. waited, and waited~ I wasn't in any pain, not at all for more than 12hours, seriously, I got no contraction really nothing. I was so relax lying down there, playing my handphone, this and that. I remember at 4PM, they come and check me again, im still 1CM~ so is a little like critical situation, as my water bag has burst, and I still got no contraction, and baby is still inside me, living with less and lesser water, so they told me they will insert one tablet into my vaginal to give me some pain, and th contraction would come in 2hours time. so waited, and seriously _|_ FCUK, th medicine doesn't work on me, i still got no pain ): and so they push me over to normal ward at 6PM, and told me to be back by 10PM;

waited in my ward, tigether with my grandma, and my mum. I remember 9PM th staff nurse came, and told me they going to make me shit, after they inject something in, after th inject th dk what in, i seriously need to shit. went to toilet and everything's done, remember YS&Winnie came over to visit me, before i was been sent back to labour ward, chat with my granny & my mother, andsoon 10PM, i was been push back to labour ward ;

I remember being scared for memoment, cause my contraction not even started after 12 hours of waiting. and they do they same thing on me, they check to see if i have dialet mor 1CM, and fcuk~ im still in 1CM, all th way, and is really pissing me off waiting, so bored, no contraction, nothing, really getting so sick, they say they going to try something more strong, they started giving me drip hoping that th pain would start, like normal contaction, but is still th same, so they insert another tablet into my vaginal, hoping that th contraction would come, waited till 2AM in labour ward together with my mum accompany~ and guess what? th doctor came, and tell me im still in 1CM~ and ask me to go back to normal ward and come back at 6AM.

this time round, im alone, my mum decided to go home and rest. i was left alone this time round, i get so piss-ed. I cried, I broke down. I hate being alone, especially with this type of situation )': and I shihui rang me up, chatted with me, and talk with me to keep me accompany, and round 3.23AM, my contraction started, not really pain yet, but i know th pain is bearable. waited, continue chatting with her, till 4AM? we ended th conersation, i waited alone now, th contraction becoming more and more pain, and eventually I inform th staff nurse, and they push me back to th labour ward.

this time round, i had dilated to 2CM, and hoping for miracle. they wanted to ring my mum, i told them not to, as im afraid they would waste th trip down again. waited, alone. till 5AM~ th pain is super, utral pain, and when they came in to check me, I'm 2CM still, and th gas does nothing at all, it doesn't work on me, requested for epidural, and th pain really gone, i swear, it relieve me to th max and let me sleep~ guess i was rather tired, i only slept for 4hours, before i was admited to hospital~

soon, im asleep, i feel so tired. so i took this chance to sleep, they were back at 10AM, the next morning, 24hours have pass-ed. It was my daddy's birthday (: and well, this time round i have dilated to 4CM~ finally. Tell myself, to endure, 4CM more to go, waited~ and half way through, they told me they put in stronger drip for me~ and well, i dont feel anything cause I took epidural already, and this time round they keep coming back like 15 miuntes once, to check on th CTG~

and bad news, they told me my baby heartbeat isn't going on well now, and like WTF. they told me not to scared, and they did inform me, if this continue i might need to go for Caesarean Section. 30minutes later, they told me, baby is fine, heartbeat back to normal, I was relieve by then, i remember, i was weak, too weak to talk, i couldn't see clearly, im too weak to even move, to hold my phone, and two doctor came out of th sudden.

they told me they need to insert th tude into my vaginal, to connect this tude to baby head, is kinda chim, that i dont understand, and ya, they did so, and soon~ my baby heartbeat drop again. I was too weak to even say a single thing, and this time round, all th doctor rush in, my labour ward was crowded, i know, im going for Caesarean Section, i know that this is going to happen, i was pushed straight, they rush out th labour ward to th Caesarean Section, and yes it was late for me to take even more epidural, and so they put me to sleep. only remember they told me to breath in and out, and again. they insert something into my drip? and ya, th moment it does, im in dark.

3PM, i remember, th time i was awake. i was so weak, damn weak to speak, my throat in pain, i cant really talk, but still, force myself to, turn around, asked th nurse, where's my baby, i was scared, and she told me is fine, have been pushed down, finally im relieve, but im really weak, too much of numbness. i was been push back to normal ward after i could really feel my legs. i know i couldn't talk still. i lost my voice that moment. th push me out, i saw my parents, they came down, not knowing i was been sent for Caesarean.

they told me when they reach, th baby was already out, they could see th baby first before i do (: and finally, Jensabella's is out, on 27August, 2010. under Caesarean Section, emergency. I could feel th joy she bought to my family now, at this moment, and i know it gonna last, and remember my dad keep saying, this is my biggest birthday present ; first grand daughter, same birthday :D

okay, end of my birth story (: Jensabella's is going to be my one and only ♥

Jensabella&My Daddy

Gift from god, a present for my dad.
could sense how happy he is, looking at this picture.

Turning Back Th Time D:

2010-08-26T02:33:00.006+08:00

I'm home th whole day ): so boring, can someone save me. All my KPO babies is out for ladies night, clubbing & drinking. I'm home facing th four wall, kinda bored, can someone entertain me? actually im kinda feeling down this few day, trying to overcome many things in life. trying to stop many thing that until now, im still trying.

well, before i start posting anything, daily update first, wake up at 5PM as usual, went to bath and have my lunch + dinner again. I had a cup of hot milo and bread, and night time had two pieces of Pizza. that's all, watch TV th whole day, playing computer th whole day again, and that's all; that's my day (: bored uh.

as for Jensabella's she is in her 40WEEKS tomorrow, which is her due date, and she still dont want come out ): how? if by next Friday which is 41weeks, she still dont come out, means need to induce out lerhs; shall pray hard, she's going to be good, and come out tomorrow, so can same day as her Grandfather, LOLS. ya, tomorrow is my Father B'day, also is Jensabella duedate.

Life is getting more and more bored now. kinda regret stopped working so early, make me rot at home for so fcuking long, i thought she's going to be out like early, and now, seem like she's coming out late lurhs ): naughty Bella ~

how's my love life, i've to be honest that i couldn't get into any relationship, and to be honest, i dont understand why can someone keep changing bf even when she's pregnant, does it means that she could actually bed with any guy? I mean no offence saying this, but im like way different, i just couldn't accept any guy, even right until now. it could be because th guy i met, is going to give me th feeling, he would be just like th previous r/s im in. who to blame? myself for being unreasonable, or him for causing me to have this fear?

hais, im lazy to update any longer, shall let this picture do th last talking.

J, i miss you. do you know? but i hate you, but because I care for you too much, i love receiving your call, and message. but i hate it when there's motive. I dont know what else i can do. moving on is not easy, prehaps, letting you go is not easy too, i hate the way my heart turn soft for you a thousand and million time, and i hate th way, when you never even appreciate. i just feel so speechless. i really hope, when Jensabella is out, you're not going to play mind game with me, and really leave me alone, i couldn't stand anymore hurt, really. I just want to live my life happily with Jensabella, no one else. i dont want you to turn back, i dont want you to come tell me you want see her, my heart will be soft, i dont want you to request this and that, can? please. especially when im on th verge of letting you go...

there's alway gonna be that one person,
that no matter how many time they hurt you,
you're never gonna let them go.

2 MORE DAY

2010-08-25T04:38:00.003+08:00

(: Hello, im like so lazy to update actually, infact i got nothing to update, as i've updated yesterday~ so wondering what i should post now =//// hmmmmmmmmmm.

well, im sleeping like so late every single day, so it isn't weird that even now im still awake right. I wake up at 5PM in th evening, went to bath and do th laundry. After that i had my so called lunch + dnner? had Pizza today, my dad bring pizza home today, when im sleeping (: so i ate pizza, and went to watch TV all th way, like what i always do.

stay-ed home the whole day, camping infront of my lappy, playing FB, and chatting in MSN. and i decided to post one of th conversation with a guy :D and see how realistic guy's are.

GUY: Hello pretty care to chat?
ME: Who are you?
GUY: ): Someone from FB.
ME: Which means i dk you, right?
GUY: Ya.
ME: Okay.
GUY: So means we cannot chat?
ME: Ya.
GUY: But I Would like to chat with a pretty girl like you.
ME: Orh, save all your sweet words for some others girls, cause im not interested.
GUY: Why must save it for others, and not you?
ME: cause, i dont like to chat with someone idk, and im a mummy to be, so ya.
GUY: Bye.
ME: BYE, realistic guys.
GUY: no la, cause you got husband already marhs.
ME: sorry, im a single mother. but still, BYE.
10 minutes later.
GUY: After thinking i dont mind being friends with a pretty mother le.
ME: (* CLOSE TH CHAT LOG)

LOLS, i feel like laughing chatting with this type of people, or infact i dont chat with people barhs, i've removed most of th people that i doesn't know from my MSN contact list (: i guess im like really mean?

Jensabella is like two days away, like OMFG. I'm still scared, im like not prepare yet, but at th same time i can't wait to see her (: Mummy's is waiting, and so is everyone else.

meet up with ShiHui, PeiYun and Weiting today at Fajar mac, im like kinda late, i was there only at 12plus, cause im busy watching TV :D headed down to eat MAC WING, LOL. i'm really growing fat and fatter. headed home before 3AM (: that's all. shall update more again tomorrow :D

things really change, and i guess is really th end. sometime i wonder how hard it's to let go of someone. many time i say im giving up, im getting over you, this and that. but does my heart really did? i really dont know, but i know how much you've lie, and how much pain you've give is more than enough reason for me to give up on you, someone who betray behind me, someone who fool around with other girl, someone who dont appreciate, and so on. there's so much to say about you, i couldn't find any good about you. but why? it seem like you are really heartless enough to let go of everything, making us of me seem great, am i right? you got what you want, you have what you need and everything. i was dumb enough to make you happy, and making myself upset over and over again, i guess th impact of pain is just too much that sometime i feel that th next guy im going to meet, will be just like you.

it's like once you've been hurt.
you're scared to get attached again,
like you have this fear that every person you start to like,
is going to break your heart.

3 MORE DAY :D

2010-08-24T05:05:00.007+08:00

:D HELLO. I'm missing for two day? actually only one day to be exact. Now is like, 5:20AM in th morning, and i didn't wake up early, is because i haven't sleep, been staying up so late all this while, sleeping like early morning, waking up like late evening. seem like i'm so use to it already, is not really good actually, cause Jensabella's also like th same as me now, keep kicking me in th middle night when im in MSN with Fatty just now.

Okay, went for my check up yesterday. And seem like things are back to normal, my little girl is okay now, she is moving so actively already, beside im still having low blood; as for my waterbag level, is acceptable only, so i still have to monitor more. I'm currently 3 DAY AWAY to my expected due date, but i've a feeling I wont be giving birth this 3days, maybe next week? LOLS. Th doctor say, th longest th baby can stay inside our tummy is total of 41 weeks only, so hopefully Jensabella's gonna be good and not gonna drag so long :D

I got like really not enough sleep, i slept at 6AM yesterday morning, and wake up at 9.30AM, just to for my appointment, and seriously so boring, being alone all th way. After that cab-ed home, less than 30 minutes, i fallen asleep all th way till evening, i swear im really tired, dude.

wake up and went to bath and started watching TV and playing computer, at th same time talking with Joyce over th phone. That's like my daily routine. doing th same things all day long.

went to my cousin, Xavier's full month on Sunday, less than 2 hours headed back panjang. meet up with TeckHeng awhile, follow up meet up with Joyce (: headed to Bangkit, catch up with Fatty, then PeiYun came have dinner at Kim San Leng and walked back Fajar, while Joyce went back home.

that's about all. I bought clothing for Jensabella's, and seriously this is th first time i buy things from net, whereby i actually dont dare to, show you guys what i buy alright (:

HelloKitty Dress With Hat (:

Lady Bird Jumper With Hat (:

Pink Bear Jumper With Hat (:

Bumble Bee Jumper With Hat (:

I actually bought th first three, but th PinkBear Jumper seem to be out of stock, so I might be taking th BumbleBee (: LOLS, is so cute right, th one that actually caught my attention was th FIRST ONE, th Hello Kitty, i love hello kitty so much (: can't wait to put it on Jensabella's.

stock will be arriving next month, so i've to wait then (: be patient i guess. that's about all for now, im so tired, want to see my latest fat photo, i guess i damn long didn't update picture already, just one of my picture then :D

S E X Y . M A M A
WANNA BE

THE END

i've given up on you. i've try many way to held you back, try many way to make you stay. but nothing seem to be working, you dk how to appreciate people around you, you took people for granted. you dk how much it hurt holding on to you, you dk how much people suffer for you, all you bother was how much you enjoy. you pick a girl, w/o knowing them clearly, took them for granted just because you were lonely, but do you really love them? sometime i wonder at which part of your life will you understand how much you've actually miss out. how much things is waiting for you, you could actually have a happy family, you didn't apprecaite, you dump it. now you could have a second family, you dump it th way you did to th first. you dont learn at all, you are a grown up man, but why can't you behave like a grown up man? im moving on, moving towards where i should be. Jensabella's will be bought up by me, i say things, and i mean it. dont come back and tell you want to see her, cause you choose to leave, and be heartless. let me tell you, how you treat me is million times more hurtful, karma is a bitch! I love you, yes I really do, but you should get what you deserve, and i should get what i deserve, and i know i deserve th best. im sorry if any of my words offended you, but im speaking th fact. gdbye my love ; ♥MD J.K

KARMA's A BITCH

5 Days To Go

2010-08-22T02:15:00.002+08:00

I'm here to update my blogs, at th same time my lost feeling? Just came back from NUH, with my mum and shihui. went down to NUH at round 11PM, because Jensabella's isn't moving at all since th moment i wake up all th way, so kinda worried. Decided to cab down (:

Reach NUH, they wheel me in to labour ward, and start scanning and listen to baby heartbeat~ everything is okay, just that my waterbag level is a litte too low. This is part of th reason why bay isn't moving well, and after that th doctor say she will discuss with an senior doctor, to see if there's a need to induce th baby out.

waited like a few minutes, and th doctor came back together with another th senior doctor, and she say is okay, but still need to discuss with an much more senior doctor, and blad blad blad. so after that they came back with two choices, first is to stay in, if dont want, then go home, but i need to monitor baby movement, if still th same i need to go back tomorrow, but if baby movement is okay, then i will need to go back on Monday (:

definitely, i choose to go home, so cab-ed home together with Shihui and my mum. Fatty is now at my places, heading out to have mac after this post :D

stay-ed home th whole day, wake up rather late in th evening 6PM, then do some housework and stayed home th whole day, and that's about all for now. ("v")

Meanwhile, when im in th labour ward

Called J, chatted with him. And seriously, im tired, really tired of everything, I want to live on my own, with Jensabella's ; last long with your girlfriends, i know you'll never change, you wont. right?

I dont want to hold on to a stone anymore.

7 DAYS TO GO

2010-08-20T19:02:00.002+08:00

HELLO READERS :D I'm here again, im so bored now wondering what to do, can someone tell me what to do; Jensabella's so naughty, until now still dont want come out, i guess she really decide to come out on next Friday, on her actual due date barhs ):

nothing much to say or update :D been doing th same thing all day.
- meet up with Fatty.
- went to have Mac for supper&breakfast.
- counting down for Jensabella arrival.

that's about all. im lazy to update so much (: shall update when i really have th feel barhs.

&forever and eternity,
which is longer?

9 MORE DAY

2010-08-18T03:51:00.002+08:00

:D HELLO. I'm like an owl now, or panda? I'm having dark circle, and big eyesbag. (*laughs) well, i just reach home less than an hours ago, just finish bathing, and infact i vomited too. this few day keep vomiting ): and is like fcuk-ed up, i dont like, but dk why after eating, awhile later i will have urge of vomiting, and th food will automatic vomit out. (Jensabella dont like th food, so she kick-ed out everything.)

went out today, after i woke up :D went to do some laundry and soon after that cab-ed out to meet Joyce, cause is Dannie b'day, thought of celebrating, ended up didn't celebrate, walk around town with Joyce, and then cabed over to railway station, as she wanted to buy Dan favourite fruit cakes, at the same time we both had our dinner there, and cab-ed to Bugis to meet up with th rest :D

didn't go anywhere actually, after th shop was close, bus-ed home with Weiting and Peiyun, and meet up with Shihui at Fajar, had supper there, and i swear im like eating mac almost EVERYDAY, and me and Shihui promise not to eat anymore, we have to stop, LOLS. (*growing fatter)

after that, headed to Shihui house downstair, and chat while Weiting and Peiyun headed home. slack-ed awhile with her, then went to her place to collect some clothing, suppose to take only one dress, ended up she like given me alot of dress, top, etc. is rather nice lurhs :D LOLS, i got so much clothing waiting for me to wear, provided i slim down, this are all my motivation.

Jensabella is 9day away, her due date is next Friday, i can't wait to see her ): she dont want come out, and each day she drag, it make me scared. but im rather paitient lehs, i've been waiting since like dk when ): (babybella, faster come out.)

guess that's about all, im so lazy to hang all th shirt now~ tomorrow i've laundry to do, feel like doing now, think i should go do bahs, shall end my update here :D nights readers.

I wish I could press reset and feel that feeling again,
I sit and press rewind and watch us every night,
want to pause it but I cant make it stay.

10 MORE DAY

2010-08-17T01:42:00.005+08:00

Happy Birthday to Dannie
today is my boss bday :D

Happy Birthday to Joanne
yesterday was her bday :D

HELLO. yes, im still playing counting down game :D i haven't admit to hospital yet, LOLS, i dont know why so many people thought i have actually went to hospital! (*laughs) friends dont worry yeahs, i'll message you guys if im going for labour :D

wondering why am i still awake? i can't sleep, who want tell me story, or anyone want sing song to make me sleep ): im boredddddddddddddddddd~

where have i been this few day, =// hmmmmmm, not many places beside Fajar and my house downstair; this few day my routin is like same, meeting friends also like th same people, YanSin&Fatty is two of them that i've been meeting this few day. Yesterday, i did met up with Joyce, and accompany her to eat at Plaza together with Fatty :D cab there, and home. All paid by Joyce, th rich lady. LOL, after that meet up with Yansin at late night.

chat-ed with him all the way till morning, like really morning, headed home, called him, and gone to lalaland :D talk so much crap with him, though Fatty did came down to meet us awhile, but she is like so busy with her phone, dude~ so ended up it seem like only me and Yansin is talking, and thinking of my Jensabella's chinese name, and i swear, we laugh non-stop yesterday (: had a great day with him and Fatty around, all th time.

today, same thing meet up with YanSin awhile too, at my house downstair, and headed to have late lunch at Fajar, after that headed to my place, to keep my sis accompany, and headed downstair after she left, and slacked downstair. at th same time we called KFC delievery for dinner. after that he left, and i went back home to watch TV :DDD

there goes my day, my mum isn't feeling well today, so i watch TV alone th whole night ):so lonely (*drawing circle) i guess im going to sleep soon, im so bored now, nothing left for me to do. my babygirl still dont want come out, think she really plan to come out on her EDD day bahs ): i want see herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, cant wait to carry her :D laughs, what a impatient mummy !

well, guess im going to stop here now, there's nothing more for me to update or post (: Jensabella's is 10day away from now, very soon she's going to see th world, i can't wait to see her :D loves ("v")

I'll be posting a story about how i found out my pregnacy soon, i guess :D ohya, btw i hope that those who comment or left a message on my formspring, please kindly state your name, unless you wanted to be left it as annoymous. if not i would appreciate if name are stated :D thanks readers.

Nothing can change th fact.
A lie is an lie.

13 DAY TO GO

2010-08-14T22:41:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday To L.WeiTing
tomorrow is her bithday :D

:D Hello, im here to update my blog again, im soooooooooo boring, all my babies is out to club and pub, and im here at home doing nothing. well, wake up rather early today, cause i slept early yesterday, around 2AM im already in bed, entering my lalaland (:

was at FarEastPlaza yesterday, went to help Joyce open shop before she come, and stayed there to keep her accompanied (: she bought Jensabella two skirt, one jumper and one top, ohmygod, is so cute and aorable lurhs~! nothing for me, she say only for baby :D anyway, is appreciated ("v") loves her ;

had lunch with J and his friends at FarEastPlaza too. after that headed back to shop, and stayed almost th whole day, reach home at 9PM, and watch unriddle, and so on~ after that headed to bed. woke up at 2PM today, rest awhile and started doing housework, and headed out to meet YanSin, and and have late lunch at 163, slacked with him till 6plus, was suppose to go home, but it started raining before i manage to leave.

so stayed until my dad came and fetch me home :D he is th best daddy, i swear~ his birthday coming soon, wondering what to get for him =// hmmmmm. Jensabella is coming out soon, i dont know why, i had a strong feeling within this few day she will be out, started to feel a little pain, by a little pain, should be some hint i guess.

well, guess that's about all, im going to stop here :D shall update again tomorrow if possible. Nights readers !

15 MORE DAY

2010-08-12T01:08:00.003+08:00

decided to update my blog, not to let it rot if possible. stayed home today, usually i'll be out at this timing with Fatty, at Fajar Mac, but today we ain't meeting, cause she was out with friends, so here im alone, in my room, facing this four wall. many thing going in and out of my mind ):

anyway i met up with Fatty yesterday night, went to have supper, walked around and chatted awhie, and headed back to my place, she stayed over and she sleep and snore so loud :D i went to toilet less than 10minutes, she was already in her lalaland, snore so loudly, and th moment i off th light, th snore went away, laughs, and so bad of her keep putting her leg on top of my leg, and she can't sleep straight, she sleep upper body in th inside, and th lower body on th outside. so cute of her right, fattybombom :D

well, Jensabella is currently 15 day away, it might be early, just like ay point of this two weeks. excited, right (: so am i~ i believe everyone is, except for that heartless guy, sorry to say, but i just feel you're indeep heartless guys. i guess i need to pack my labour bag, i haven't prepare anything yet. just feel so scared, wondering how is th feeling like and blad blad blad... ;

tomorrow is thursday, is another day, and soon a week is going to pass again, time fly so fast, like really fast isn't it. time wont stop for us, we have to catch up with time. (:

*****

J, sometime when i was all alone, i tend to think of you, wondering how are you, is everything going on well for you, this and that. but do i come across your mind? even once? sometime i really wish i could say how good you were, but i found out that, i totally couldn't find, couldn't find a reason to make me love you anymore. i only could find more reason not to love you, not anymore.

i remember telling you, repeating it to you, saying "it's time for you to seat and think what you really want" and it seem like until now, you dont learn, you dont repent, and worst, you didn't change, did you? yes, you're working, you're earning money, but your night life dont change, th girl next to you is always changing, th girl who sleep beide you are always different, dont you feel that way? or did i say wrongly?

maybe by th time you've learn, everything would be too late, really too late. Jensabella's is like 15 day away, and you show no concern, not at all. your son, is going to be 2years old soon, why cant you be better, a father of two. why just cant be far way mature.

do you remember how deep you've hurt me, do you remember how much lies you have given me, do you remember how heartless you were, and pushed me away? do you remember how did you treat me during my birthday celebration, do you remember what did you told me on my actual birthday, do you remember how my 7 stitches come from? do you remember every single thing you've done, do you remember how heartless you were? and all i do was, keep quiet, and still giving you th best.

life have change, you changed my life, you make me become more and more strong, stronger than before, you made me understand what love are to be late, and th best part is you made me think that all guys are th same.

i just wish you will learn, and be better. that's all, please take people advice, stop fooling around, and find th purpose of why are you here, in this earth.

******

is 2AM already, and im still like doing nothing here, facing th four wall, Jensabella's when are you going to come out, when are you going to lie down beside mummy, and let mummy feel you everyday (: really cant wait to see my princess~

anyway, friends dont make use of friends. understand, i dont need friends that ring me out for purpose. i dont need come and go friends. because i know, i could live, be it, with or without them :D

suddenly i miss all my babiess, all th bugis babies. dear god, pls let me have a smooth delievery. can't wait to go back work, im so bored at home, really bored dead me ):

I wish I could press reset and feel that feeling again,
I sit and press rewind and watch us every night,
I want to pause it but I cant make it stay.

17 DAYS TO GO

2010-08-10T20:43:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to L'YANSIN

:D HELLO READERS. I know i'm missing for quite a few day, without any update right~ because im like always at home, not going anywhere, so there isn't anything for me to update. Well, im 2Weeks and 3Day away to Jensabella arrival!

Anyway, I've dye my hair reddish black, and finally it look better now. ya, must be wondering why did i dye my hair, when im pregnant right, after much checking, and they say pregnant women can dye their hair, but not in first and second trimster, so to be safe only third and last trimster.

im like sleeping for so long everyday, i could sleep more than 12hours a day. but that's becasue i slept damn late everyday, like 5AM or 6AM in th morning~ yesterday i slept near 7AM, and i wake up at 6PM today :D laughs, im like pig right.

woke up and have my meal taken, ate cereal with fullcream milk today :D after that start folding clothes and do some vacuming at home, th more house work i do, th more i will slim down right? rather than i at home, eat and sleep, like nobody business. LOLS.

Jensabella is doing well still, moving around everyday, espically during midnight, keep moving, i wondering when is she coming out, i really going to lose patient lerhs lurhs, feel like hugging her, everyday wake up got baby accompany me, like more and more joy, can't wait at all :D

my temper is also getting worst, i dont know why. i couldn't control my temper, and i really get piss off so easily lurhs. like really oh my god, i will anyhow scold people, or show people attitude. LOLS, i guess they have to tolerate with me a few more weeks bahs, after Jensabella is out everything would be better?

my birthday is like two month away, hello any ideal where to celebrate? Pub or Club, or dont celebrate? my birthday fall on ladies night lehs~ i need some comment, please ):

i guess im gonna end here, i got nothing update, doesn't have th feel to type. so BYE READERS :D

Prehaps, I Miss You.

20 MORE DAY

2010-08-07T18:48:00.005+08:00

Hello readers. I guess I'm gonna have a long post today, I woke up at 3PM today (: rather early, as i slept at 5AM yesterday. Well, suppose to have breakfast with fatty at 4AM, but she didn't wake up ): and when she call-ed me, im so lazy to get up and wear back my lense, so i actually ignore her call. But she said we're gonna eat it today (: like okay, i hope we really make it, im craving for HOTCAKE.

my backache is getting worst, im feeling more and more pain, and seriously, seat cant seat properly, lie down also can't lie down properly, like every position isn't right at all~ Jensabella's is 20 DAY AWAY. oh my, aint you excited like i do? im so nervous too, like can't wait to carry her on my hand. i know she's gonna bring joy to me, and my family, right?

what's next, there's picture to upload, but im not gonna upload all, just three will be fine~ th picture im wearing sunglass, because im too fat, that i need to cover my fats on my face (:

ShuLing&ME

ShuHui&ME

Weiting&ME

well, that's all. the rest im lazy to upload, there's alot, infact i also haven't finish receiving from WeiTing. cause th connection was so slow yesterday night ): anyway i think im meeting her later to take my stuff? thanks ahchun for getting those stuff for me (:

it has been quite sometime since i last saw J, wondering how is he doing, at time i do care for him still, but as a friends, i have long buried this love, infact im moving on in my life, i didn't want my life to stop and stuck down here. i remember many thing, all th flash back memories, do you remember? sometime to think back everything, i realise, you didn't give me a reason to stay, but reason to leave. and i guess i've learn to let go, after knowing you. i use to be dumb, use to love you so much that people say im too naive. (: now everything is over, Jensabella is going to be out soon, i bet she is going to let me forget you, but boy, i miss you still.

oh ya, want to share one more thing, i hope you guys would read, and reblog it too.

Every Child Is A Gift From God

Month One

Hi Mommy!
I am only 3/4 of an inch long,
But I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it,
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
Is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy,
Today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
You could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I’m not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy,
I’m a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don’t like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too,
And I cry with you even though
You can’t hear me.

Month Four

Mommy,
My hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine
But I will have a lot of it.
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
And stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I’m not a baby.
I am a baby, Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what’s abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don’t like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can’t get away from it!
Mommy! Help me!

Month Seven

Mommy,
I am okay.
I am in Jesus’s arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn’t you want me, Mommy?

Every abortion is just…

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

If you’re against abortion, re-blog

guess that's all for today post, im so bored, waiting for daddy to be home, so i got porrige to eat (: im home th whole day, but im not doing nothing, i just finish mopping th floor, see im sucha good girl :D bye READERS~

谁会珍惜,
谁又懂得接受,
这个容易受伤的女人

21 MORE DAY

2010-08-06T21:20:00.002+08:00

(: Woohoo~ im here to update my blogs, and there's picture to upload too, but not now, cause th picture is not all sent~ and im sooooooooooooooooo fat in all th picture, i swear, so fat that i couldn't take it. my face so round, like hamburger. i really hope im able to slim down after i give birth.

went to Kbox yesterday night, and we really did enjoy ourself. many picture was taken, but i really look so fat in th picture ): cab-ed home, together with Fatty after 2AM, after that slack-ed with her all th way till 4.45AM? and headed back home, awhile later, i went to sleep, and i really sleep for 12HOURS today, i slept all th way till 5PM (:

and now, im craving for MAC BREAKFAST AGAIN` do you think i should eat? i really dont know lehs, if so, i've to wait till 4AM. LOLS~ i dont know what to do now, should i call Fatty?

I'm 3weeks away, to JENSABELLA arrival, and im so scared~ but im excited too, how i wish i could wake up and have her around me everyday (: really hope life would be better now, im sick of everything, even him. im moving on happily, no longer his spare tyre. i have wake up from th stupid dream, though sometime i wish i dont (:

guess that's about all for now, im going to watch my TV, infact there's nothing to update either.

I've learn to say good-bye.

22 MORE DAY

2010-08-05T20:01:00.002+08:00

HELLO (: yeahs, is mememe again, im here to update my blogs, before heading out. Wondering what im going to update today? I was out in th early morning, but i didn't turn up for my check up, is far way too early that i couldn't wake up, could feel im damn freaking tired.

I woke up at 10.45AM, by my mum, she goes "Pui eh, ki lai liao." (fat de, time to wake up.) like ya, she keep calling me fat ): i guess im really fat know, cant change th fact anymore; wake up have breakfast with her, seat less than 15minutes, went to bath, and headed to Keat Hong, and have Sakura buffet.

I didn't eat much at all, as th food ther doesn't match my appitite. so, ended up i eat so little that my mum nag and nag, say i waste money~ LOLS. cab-ed over, and cab-ed home. after eating, headed home, watch TV, and DVD. Fatty, came over and guess what she pass me, she cook barley for me, so sweet of her right, and th barley was nice, thanks babies (:

after that trying to explore her handphone, cause both of us have th same handphone, BUT th function was so different, like i could change my message tone, her's couldn't. think her handphone need to send to ICU~ hahas. i slept at 3.30AM yesterday, cause i was exploring my handphone, trying to understand more about it~ i chang-ed my theme again, anyway, thanks Minyi&AhChun, for th Hellokitty item, AhChun bought me a sheet of Kitty sticker, and Minyi bought me a Kitty Ez-Link sticker, LOLS. they always think of me, dont you?

headed to fajar just now, with my mum~ spended like more than $50 to buy my item ): for my confinement, all those bathing item~ and didnt expect it to be so expensive, so sad~ after that walk-ed back home, and here im. and that's all for my update~

im going out to Kbox with my babies (: but im not sure who is going, beside Fatty, Weiting, Shuling, gonna enjoy myself, hopefully there's picture for me to upload, and update alright, i so long didn't take picture le, must be wondering how fat i've become isn't it?

my princess, Jensabella's is going to out soon~ oh my, i can't wait and i bet everyone too (: going to be back for more update. Tomorrow meeting up with Sean? think so, dont know what's th plan yet. bye READERS !

Th Love I've For You,
Should Be Long Gone

23 MORE DAY's

2010-08-04T21:37:00.004+08:00

A daily update, as promise-d. Well, headed to work today, and im seriously bored dead, thanks to th empty crowd ): there's more foreigners than singaporean. is like 90percent are foreigners~ like dude, where's all th singaporean? anyway, im rather tired, plus sleepy th whole day. why, because i slept at 5AM, and i woke up at 9AM~ so i sleep only like 4hours.

Anyway, i only work-ed for 8hours, and headed back home at 7:30PM, bought dinner for my mum, Oyster Hokkien Mee ~ and is really nice, LOLS. i ate HokkienMee for lunch, and im so full like th whole day until now, reach-ed home went to bath, and catch th show at 9PM~ oh my, is nice i swear. so im like watching it, and im not gonna miss it, for any reason~ LAUGHS.

Tomorrow im having check up at 11AM, and which means, i couldn't sleep again, after check up need accompany my mum to CCK, to have Sakura. hmmmmmm~ so, can feel im like having full timetable, thus my boss actually hope that i could go work tomororw. but im really sorry that i couldn't make it.

(: Jensabella is 23DAY AWAY, oh my, im scared, i hope she can be born on National Day, so both me and her have many benefits. yesterday meet up with Weiting, Fatty & Minyi, and i swear i enjoy-ed so much, laughs like crazy, agree babies? i knew you all agree too.

hmmmmm, i got nothing much to update beside going work, shall update tomorrow for more :DDDDDDD bye READERS~

I found no reason to love you,
but I found more reason to hate you.

24 More days.

2010-08-03T17:36:00.002+08:00

I'm kinda early for today blogs, dont know why suddenly have the urge to update ; which mean this post is going to be long, as i've many things to update and say, many comment for whoever;

slept damn late yesterday, i slept at 5AM~ was out at around 12AM, to meet Fatty, and have Mac together, chat-ed and slack-ed, all th way until 3AM, headed home, using computer, MSN and SMS-ed with people. and finally, time for bed, woke up at 3PM today, thanks to someone who actually call-ed me, LOLS. chat-ed with him awhile, and continue lying on bed, and pull myself up after awhile, went to wash up, have my breakfast and do some laundry, and now im here.

just finish bathing with cold water (: feeling so shiok now. tomorrow is Wednesday, not sure if i need to go work anot, as i heard that my boss wasn't at oversea yet, plus th crowd still can be manage, so shall see how tonight. tonight, meeting up with Fatty again, this time im gonna eat BREAKFAST DELUX. i dont care, im craving for Macdonal's breakfast ~

Jensabella's is moving so hard this few day, that i couldn't tahan her. LOLS~ thus, i can't wait to see her. really feel like having her beside me everyday, oh my but she's still 24 day away, though is near already, but im scared still, im not yet prepare~ anyway, what should i do now, im feeling so bored.

next, i was thinking if i should celebrate my birthday this year. last year i have a very bad birthday and i really dont wish that this year is going to be th same ): as Jensabella's im not able to bring her right, she will be at home, my mother promise to take care of her for me, on my birthday, and let me enjoy myself outside, BUT, i really dont know if i should. this year Club or Pub? i really dont know, finacial is definitely a problem for me now, hais~ feel like going Oasis lurhs, i guess i will bring Jensabella's out in th day, and night i'll be out with my babies, on my birthday, shall see how, im still two month away to think about it (:

well, i really dont understand what's people thinking, seriously~ someone who love you, and willing to wait for you, when you ask-ed to, shouldn't you be contented enough, someone who willing to spend money on you, and this and that, can't you feel th love, you ask people to wait, he/she really wait, few month later, you tell people A-Z, what th fcuk, aint you wasting people time, if you feel that is impossible between th two of you, then you shouldn't give people a pin of hope, th hope you given was all false hope; seriously i dont think you're mature, but far way childish. you really have to seat down, and think about it all over again. dont need to bother who im saying, if you're guilty over it, then do something about it.

anyway, yesterday Fatty share two thai song with my, and is really meaningful, i have posted up in my FB, so you may listen from there, there's two part, and well it suit girl like me (: and Fatty. cause we have th same situation, thus different guys of cause. but mine, have come to an full stop for long. below is th song lyrics in english, so after reading i bet you find it meaningful too, view th MV from my facebook yeahs~!

PrikThai - Waen Gam (Karma)Part1

"Is it True What They Say?
Men, They Love You When You're New,
Every Word Is, Sweet Heart, Sweet Heart, Sweet Heart.
Now Look At Me, Who Should I Blame Myself Or Karma?"

I'm a person unwilling to give in to anyone,
I've been like this since i can remember.
but I've to give in to you each time
everytime you're unfaithful to me,
I can only think that from now on, i wont tolerate it.

If you can do it, I can do it too.
I have a right to, dont I?
I'll have plenty, just wait and see.
But then th time really comes,
no matter what I do, I can't do it to you.

It's probably karma that caused me to meet you,
I'm always loyal to you,
I only fancy having someone else,
I've yet to follow through with it.
How disconsolate must i be when you have countless others?
still, my love for you doesn't lessen,
I can only feel slighted.

it's probably karma that caused me to meet you,
I'm always loyal to you,
I only fancy having someone else,
I've yet to follow through with it.
How disconsolate must i be when you have countless others?
still, my love for you doesn't lessen,
I can only feel slighted.

G: Please dont leave.
B: Fine, but if you want me to continue staying here,
dont overstep your boundaries.

G: Men, they love you when you're new,
now look at me, who should i blame? myself or karma?

----

PrikThai - Mot Arom (Not In Th Mood)Part2

“Who Said Women Had To Be Submissive?
Who Said Women Had To Put Up With It?
Who Said It Was Karma?
Today, None Of It Exists.
It's Gone, Love's Gone, I'm Not In Th Mood”

I'm not trying to be hostile or annoying,
or provoke anger from you.

I'm truly sorry, we must end as of today,
I only as that you set me free, please.
I'm merely a release point for you,
you treat me like i'm a puppet
when you hold me it feels like holding a log,
it's never warm.
I dont want to keep on answering to you.

I’m not in th mood, I dont need you anymore,
we'd only be together physically, it's disheartening.
if you're still hiding someone away, dont let me wait.
enough is enough, I dont need this.
I’m not in th mood, when you've never loved me,
if I held you back, that would be it since the feeling's gone
I dont want th leftovers you give me.
I dont want to accept them,
the best soltion is to say goodbye, if we're not in love.
It really is th only option.

I’m just a favourite dish, right?
when you're free and have no one else,
when you feel like leaving you disappear.
You never cared about me
dont you know someones lonely
however much I love you, that's it.
I’m th only devoted one
no matter how much I love you, I can't buy your love.

I dont want to keep on answering to you.
I’m not in th mood, I dont need you anymore,
we'd only be together physically, it's disheartening.
if you're still hiding someone away, dont let me wait.
enough is enough, i dont need this.
I’m not in th mood, when you've never loved me,
if I held you back, that would be it since the feeling's gone
I dont want th leftovers you give me.
I dont want to accept them,
the best soltion is to say goodbye, if we're not in love.
it really is th only option.

------

done, this two song is going around my head ever since yesterday, but is really nice dude. anyway, i guess im going to stop here, there's nothing to update lerhs (: bye READERS ~!

I Just Want Th Best From You.
But I Know You Can't Give.

25 MORE DAY (:

2010-08-02T19:48:00.002+08:00

(: HELLO READERS. im here again to give a update for my blog, as im not going to let my blog rot, even after i give birth, so im going to give a update every day, if possible alright.

well, i just had my dinner together with my families, i had chickenchop while my mum have lambchop, went to pack from 163, my dad didn't eat this kind of food, so i pack just a normal mixed vegrice, as for my borther he told me he would be out, but when im home he is at home, like dude, i didn't buy his dinner, so asked my dad to dabao home for him (:

headed to meet YanSin today, at his house downstair, due to his fractured leg, and so i didn't ask him come over, instead i go over, see how kind im, at least as a friends i have th heart to go over to show him some care and concern, *LAUGHS. cab-ed over and have a great chat with him, until 6.30PM, headed to pack dinner, and cab-ed back home, and finally home.

today is only Monday, can Wednesday faster come, i want go work. im rotting at home, got money also can't use, like WTF. hais, i have to keep all th money for Jensabella's, she need it more than me, LOLS. tell what to do now, after this? hahas, im so bored, bored dead at home okay, seriously people think staying home is th best, but when you try staying home, you will feel so bored, bored like as if you going to rot, time so slow ~~`

i guess that's about all, i really got nothing to update. goodnights readers (:

i've no more reason to love you,
but i've more reason to hate you.

You Make Me Numb

2010-08-02T00:14:00.003+08:00

I'm here again, to do some update, since i've finish doing my blogskins. Yes, i finally finish one task, which is changing my blogskins, and i still got many thing, yet to be done. i haven't pack my bag for my labour, so indeed i really have many thing to do, isn't it?

(: let me update you about me, and my baby now. i bet everyone know and could feel that yesterday night, there's freaking heavy rain, and i woke up and i couldn't sleep, not just because of th rain, but my stomach was in pain too, i didn't know how to explain th pain, but is really pain, that i couldn't get to sleep, but overall, i still manage to tolerate th pain, and force myself to sleep. i was so afraid that Jensabella's is going to be out this few days. as for now, Jesabella's is 26 day to away.

woke up rather early, thanks to my parents, who actually woke me up to eat th hot roti prata that they bought. after breakfast, watch DVD together with my families, and i even went to Fajar to rent another two more show, while on my way home, i have a slip and i fell down. no worries, nothing happen to me, beside hurting both my elbow and knee, i guess im rather careless. thanks God, Jensabella's is fine -

tomorrow is only Monday, and im like three day away to Wednesday, im going to work on Wednesday, and is my last day ); im so gonna miss them. but well, i'll be going back (hopefully someone will help me tc of my babygirl}. i doesn't have enough saving, really not enough, i save up to 1K+ only, and it's going to last me now, till i go back to work, so is like a long way, and a baby fomular going to cost a bomb already, oh my, someone pls donate me money can?

my next check up is on Thursday, and im not going, unless im not feeling well, in order to save money, at th same time, my handphone bill is still waiting for me to pay, everything is money now. ohya, i strike 4D today, though i only buy iBET, but is better than nothing, i win a bit, just a $10, LOLS. Jensabella is my lucky star (:

she's moving so hard now, and is making me pain every now and then, even know she's moving around, stomach is bigger, and Jensabella have very little space now, as she's growing, so she only could move around, instead of kicking, i know she can't wait to come out either, i wish to see her too, i bet everyone is waiting for my birth story too, im so going to scream, really. im scared of pain ): someone, save me.

have a good sleep during th eveing time today, as th rain started again, th weather is cold, so i took an hour nap during eveing time, after that woke up to watch TV, and accompany my dad to fetch my mum after work, and headed to BukitTimah Market to have dinner, after dinner and home sweet home, guess that's about all. i'll try to give a daily udpate if possible (:

goodnights readers!

I've decided to move on,
and yes, this time i mean it.

Finally (:

2010-07-31T15:12:00.002+08:00

Hello readers, my blog is like rotting uh, but i doubt there's many reader, so update, or no update doesn't make any different, right? well, im like missing for soooooooooooooooooo long, that i couldn't even remember what did i last update about. okay, today is th last day of July, and so bye-bye to July, and welcome August, in a sense is August, which mean Jensabella is going to in this world in anytime (:

yesterday was my last day working at Bugis. im so gonna miss all of them, all th jokers, LOLS. suppose to be last day, but this coming Wednesday im going back for a day to help out (: as my boss is going to be away, suppose to stop next sunday, but i was a little too tired, a little too lazy at th same time a little too sick of it. waking up early in th morning, squeeze with those typical in th bus, going back squeezing in th bus, and blad blad blad. now, is over (: will be back to work, after my birth and confinement~! all babies going to wait for me right?

okay, i was off like quite a few day, without updating blog, and wondering what im doing? dont say im childish alright, im busy with my maple (: LAUGHS. partly is to kill my boredom, and sometime it got me so stuck to th game~! hahas, anyway, i've went to check up on Wednesday, my babygirl is doing well, but im not~ dude, th doctor say my blood is running low, and eventually changed my medicine, in order to have more blood.

im have a week one time check up now, but to be honest, im not going. i decided to stay at home, and wait for Jensabella arrival, im scared, to be honest, im thinking how th pain is going to be like, and this and that, and blad bald blad. someone save me from th pain or anyone can take th pain on behalf of me? i knew every women go through this, and is gonna be worth while, but im not pyhiscally prepare yet ~!

ohya, congrates to KaiLin for th new arrival of your babyboy (: one after another giving birth, and and and, my turn is like less than a month away, oh my god~! im so scareddddddddddddddd~

anyway, i've just finish packing th living room, moping th whole house plus doing th laundry, could feel im rather a good girl isn't it? LOLS. *self praise. and i guess im not going to update much, planning to go Kbox next Wednesday, with all my shop babies, butbutbut, i haven't tell them yet, sad-ed uh Joyce is away, so she couldn't go with us, hope th rest would be able to (: shall discuss with Ting and see how it goes :D

guess im gonna stop my update here, will update again soon, planning to change blogskins too, any ideal?

to love, you have to be brave enough;
brave enough to hold on when things go wrongs,
and brave enough to let go,
when things aren't meant to be.

To Be Th Best

2010-07-23T23:25:00.005+08:00

(: im done with packing Jensabella's stuff, and now im here to give an update for my blog, and soon im turning in, as im working tomorrow, there's many thing to update, cause i guess i didn't update my blog for quite sometime already, isn't it? well, by right i should have many thing to say, but by left, i've nothing much to update.

went to work as usual, everyday like how i use to, been bus-ing to work without fail, and bus-ing back home, and th bus is so squeezy, and really cannot tahan, and those typcial singaporean and youngster refuse to give up seat, and is pissing me off. for goodness sake, next week faster end, and im going to stop work. hope my saving will last me till i go back to work.

okay, now im like 35days away to Jensabella arrival, please pray hard for me, pray that she is going to be fine, and im going to have a smooth delievery (: im afraid, im scared of pain ~! but seriously i couldn't wait for her arrival. see how much thing she have.

Jensabella's Cabinet :D

Jensabella's Baby's Chair :D

Jensabella's Cot :D

well, im almost done with my blogging. so i guess i shall end here, im so tired of everything. :D so everything aside now, relationship and what so ever, blad blad blad. doesn't concern me anymore. what are meant to be shall mean to be barhs. beside waiting for Jensabella's arrival, the rest will not effect me (: i guess, im gonna end here. shall update again ;

sometime i wish you could be responsible,
sometime i wish you would be better,
but i just dont understand,
why you couldn't?

❥我很想爱他-

2010-07-19T17:18:00.003+08:00

(: im here to update my blog, just wake up less then an hour ago, i didn't sleep all th way, i did wake up in th morning around 10AM, and went back to sleep at 12PM, and finally awake at 4PM.

wake up and started to do laundry, and im going out for dinner at round 7PM, wanted to eat KFC (: can?! hope that the renovation has over, meeting up with KaiXinGuo. now what to update? i actually doesn't have anything to update, beside going to work early morning, today im not working, because my backache is really pain, and i've been vomiting like non-stop.

Jensabella's is only 39 day away, and im afraid of pain, and scared plus nervous, but most importantly, im excited for her arrival (: hahas, i guess im going to stop my post here, im really like so lazy to update, and infact nothing to update barhs.

tomorrow heading to work, shall update soon, im stopping work soon ): so please save me, and pray hard i have enough income all th way till Jensabella full month (:

if only you know th feeling,
of wanting you back, but scared of having you back.

一切都过去了 ; 不会再流泪.

2010-07-17T00:55:00.003+08:00

HELLO READERS! i know im like not blogging for so long, please understand, im busy working, and i dont really like using my phone to update, cause th screen is too over sensitive, and is getting on my nerve (: what to update? where should i start from? okay, shall start from where i remember then.

im always busy working, like almost everyday? but this week, im like off for two day already, due to over backache, and is too pain that i decided to stay home, instead of working, and well im afraid that Jensabella's is going to be out early by 5 weeks? though is fully form, but i still want her to be in her full weeks before coming out, so she will be more healthy. went for check up on Wednesday, and yes, Jensabella's is doing fine and healthy, whereby im still putting on weight. i hope i can slim down really soon after i give birth ): my clothing is all waiting for me ~

and ya, after check-up have an arrangement with Mediacorp people, and i still haven't come out with an answer yet, should i go for th show Get Real? this espoisde is about Young Mother, & how they struggle through. at th same time to change those so called "typical aunties" opinion. im really thinking so much, is not as simple as just go for th show, interview and talk, and full stop. they actually plann-ed to interview me, and family, plus my boss. (: at th same time film both my place and work place, and also th scene of me, giving birth. (provided NUH allow) is a big problem for me now, i've to give an answer as soon as i can, what should i do? and ideas? anyone, i need an advice mans. i need to give them an answer asap.

well, now is bus story (: there's one that i really wanted to share, really. there was a day when i was heading home, a girl who is around my age, together with th bf, board th bus at th next station after i board, th bus is crowded with passenger, and obviously im standing, none give up seat, so i was like in th middle, where by this girl, who board th bus keep looking at me, till th very next stop, she walk towards me, and asking me, "excuse me, may i know which stop you're alighting?" and my reply was "Bukit Panjang." and guess what was th next thing she do? she went over to tap th passenger who is seating down, and tell them to give up th seat to me, and it really melt my heart, so far nobody cares or bother they will just gossip among themselve, but this girl was so kind that she actually does that for me, it really brighten up my day and i never will forget her, cause she have a sweet face and smile (:

okay, what's next now? i'll be stopping work on 8 of August, and please pray hard that im able to endure till that day, especially Jensabella's, dont come out till that day. LOLS, okay i guess that's about all, im lazy to type and blad blad blad, im turning in now, night readers (:

PS: does anyone have any lobang for those who help to massage after birth? pls leave a comment in my formspring, thanks :D

if love come, and you are gone ?
who will be the one for me?

It th end of everything

2010-07-09T00:41:00.004+08:00

(: HELLO READERS. LOLS, im here for a quick and simple post, well, wondering why did i post my short hair picture right? reason is very simple, cause i miss my short hair, but i didn't feel like cutting either, so is like in between, i took so long to keep my hair long, and ya, i dont really bear to cut, but i feel that it look so cool having short hair and blad blad blad.

anyway, im so tired with work, getting more and more sick in handling th shop, tidying th stock, and to be honest, no point packing when less than a day th shop is gonna be mess up again, and there goes everyone, pushing round and round. fcuk, i swear im not gonna bother after this last packing, shall see who is going to do, everyone is so clever in acting blur when it came to packing, and goes nagging, saying i wont do th packing, when you guys did. like, uh huh =.=" what's wrong mans. anyway, i did or did not, god know, people with eyes can see yeahs.

best thing bout today, i overslept again, i woke up at 10AM, rush to bathroom, pack and left th house, and im able to reach shop by 11AM when im taking bus. i slept quite late th day before, but it wasn't th reason why i didn't wake up, is cause my alarm wasn't set at all. (: headed to work yesterday too, but for a few hours only. from 11AM-3PM, headed out for movies, shopping and ya (:

went to catch Toystory3, at MarinaSquare? shop-ed around at both Suntech and Parkway, have a great day, spended more that what i expected but being happy makes things worth while isn't it? anyway, i bought two tank top for myself, at th same time, a new wallet too, my wallet zip spoil, so i've to change it ): another spending, my MilestoneXT is cool, LOLS, and i didn't really use it, because i haven't finish exploring? does it make sense? im so lazy to explore.

well, as for my iPhone, i've found a buyer, and will be selling out in two weeks times, kinda dont bear, but what to do? i've to sell it, since im not using it, my dad dont really know how to use, and my mum is buying him MilestoneXT too, so ya, i think sell it away fast, before th price really drop? anyway my iPhone is still in good condition.

i saw both Ahchun baby, one loves to sleep, another one love to cry ~! i love her chubby baby girl, is so cute, though th moment she came, she slept till she left, couldn't play with her ): but still she's adorable ok ! this is her baby girl.

and ya, AhWen is so busy handling th babyboy, so naughty, keep crying, and wanting to be pamper, LOLS. Jensabella's is like 7 weeks to me, im not able to wait, and i left 6 weeks, to earn money, and have a stable income, hais ): hope this is gonna be alright for me, especially after Jensabella's arrive, hope everything is going to be smooth.

shall end my post here, im turning in now, so tired. Goodnights all.

Never take someone for granted.
Hold every person close to your heart,
because you might wake up one day,
and realize you've lost a diamond,
while you were busy collecting stones.

New Start Again ;

2010-07-05T21:06:00.003+08:00

:D im back here for another update, wondering what am i going to post right? okay, i've changed a new phone today, Motorola Milestone XT720. i know im going to get scolding, i've been wanting to change a phone, and didn't wanted to get a phone of Motorola, but this phone that i get, was really out of question, cause i saw my sis have it, and i swear, IS SO FCUKING TEMPTING. and so, i headed out to get it without thinking, no worries, im not changing my number. wondering what about my iPhone 3GS, for sure it wouldn't rot at home, im going to give it to my daddy (: if he doesn't want it, i would sell it.

im off today, ya by right im suppose to work isn't it? but i was off, due to over tired, and guess how long have i slept? i slept at 1AM yesterday, wake up at 10AM, and get back to sleep at 11AM, all th way till 3.30PM. so i guess i slept more than 12HOURS, and i really have a good sleep, *drooling on bed. LOLS. after that when i woke up, started to do some packing in th living room and laundry (: after that my sis was back home, and that's when i started to get so tempted over th phone~! after that ring up YanSin and meet up with him to get my phone, and have dinner together with him.

after that i cab-ed home, packed Jensabella's cabinet, i bought her a new cabinet yesterday, and is fucking heavy~ LOLS. but never mind, is worth while as long as i give th best to her (: she's seven weeks away, is so near, im scared really scared. how? i dont know how th feeling would be like but still i knew it would be a wonderful process, after i see her, after i carry her on my hand, she's gonna be th joy to my family.

anyway, i've promise myself not to spend my money beside eating and working, no more other stuff, as Jensabella's has got all her thing ready, and i dont need to get anything either, beside paying my own hp bill, and my check up th rest shall be my saving, saving, saving. (:

guess that's about all for my today post, im not going to have my off on Wendesday, maybe Sunday bahs, im going to work hard, for Jensabella, ok, im going to explore my new phone :D

bye peoples;

i just dont love you, no more.

Lies after lies.

2010-07-04T18:55:00.002+08:00

(: no photo for today post, i bet that you guys miss-ed my post isn't it? sometime i feel so lazy to update, or when i have th feeling to update my lappy wouldn't be around. i dont know what to update actually, i feel so down today, after i get to know another lie? do you know, sometime between a friends, and a ex-lover, we would appreciate an honesty isn't it? but as a friends he still lies. but why?

shall drop this first, have been busy with work, with stock and ya, is tiring, really tiring. i dont know how to describe th tired-ness. yesterday went to work quite late, at around 1PM, to do some packing for th ladies corner, as th clothes is too much that we were unable to finish, so i took out th time to stay in th shop th whole day, to pack everything, and i swear, is really satisfied after seeing th result (: so does my boss, and he sent me and AhChun home, while th rest headed out.

have been rather busy with work, infact im late for today work, LOLS! not late, but i overslept, i suppose to reach at 11AM, and i reach like 20minutes later, but i know i try my best to rush down already. hmmmmm, tomorrow is holiday wonder will there be crowd like yesterday, i hope so, i love it when there's so much people, and i hate it when th day is like so blue, so BORED. anyway, it's raining very heavily late-ly. ): and is causing th road jamming and making everyone late for work.

anyway, that's about all for my post, im off on Wednesday, going to head out with my mum and dad, getting Jensabella's cardboard together, anyway she is doing well, 7weeks away (: woohoo`

sometime, even though we were apart.
i still wish you to be honest as a friends.

Everything is possible.

2010-06-30T23:28:00.003+08:00

Hello, im here to update my blogs again. i will be turning in after this post, im sleepy actually, i woke up so freaking early today, is like 8AM, and i only have 6hours sleeps, and im working tomorrow, and th best part is stock is coming in tomorrow. god bless me.

well, i have went for my second scanning, and Jensabella's is about 2KG now, and she has already turn-ed, so im able to go for natural birth :D im so nervous. im in my 32weeks. 8weeks away, how am i going to face it, i swear is a tough road ahead, my stretch mark is killing me, im currently using cocobutter, and well i dont know does it work, but i still decided to give it a try (: sad-ed that i doesn't have Jensabella's scanning this time. so i couldn't upload, but she is doing well, so no worries. im waiting for her arrival. ~counting down.

after my check up, cab-ed home together with my mum, and headed to Fajar to have mac for lunch. after that home sweet home, bath and changed out to town alone. went to Paragon first, and headed to FEP to catch up with Joyce. went to get J birthday present at Paragon, didn't know what to get for him, remember that he once told he wanted a ArmaniExchange belt, so i actually bought him one, and to be honest, AX customer services sucks.

after that headed to FEP, th whole day, all the way till 10PM (: and Comfort taxi service is getting worst too, im so sick of calling~ i believe Joyce too, isn't it? we called more then 30minutes to get a cab, and finally we manage to get one. is only weekday, is so hard to get an on call cab, if is weekend? i can't imagine mans~ i think Comfort really need to do something to their on-call services. agree?

today is last day of June, my sales for this month top again :D im gonna get my commission tomorrow, though it isn't much, but still is my hard work, im paid for my sweat right. tomorrow im going to see my babes (: AhChun is bringing her babies down for me to see ~ oh my, i can't wait, i want see baby Adelia.

anyway, thanks KaiLin who actually make her trip down yesterday to pass me those baby clothing (: is rather hard for you, with big tummy to come all th way here, is really appreciated.

i hope you appreciate what i do (: i say before, i want nothing but th best for you that's all. no more relationship, as i had mention it before, i had given up, it faded. is tiring, all i know is i did try my best to hold you back, to keep you by myside, you didn't learn to appreciate, so be it, im leaving for good sake.

end of stories. im nagging so much today, im turning in soon. nights people, will be back again, pls leave me comment and ask me question from Formspring.

Nothing is impossible, if you split im-possible

never give up

2010-06-29T21:12:00.002+08:00

im very full now, i just had my dinner, and i swear is really making my stomach burst now. im home almost th whole day, headed out to Fajar with mum to get some dinner ingredient, and home to relax and do some laundry, and started to cook dinner (: i woke up rather early today.

im awake due to msg from someone, and after that i realise it was almost 10AM, and i actually planned to have breakfast with mum at Fajar, so rest while, went to brush my teeth and wash my face, get myself changed and waited for my mum, but she didn't wake up, and neither did i wake her up, so i went over to Fajar mac, to pack away, and by th time i reach home is almost 11AM, so i decided to wake her up before th breakfast turned cold.

after breakfast, stay-ed home until afternoon? headed out to Fajar again, to get dinner ingredient, and started to prepare for dinner (: and i swear today dinner was full of veg and meat, and im so bloated ! for goodness sake, th food haven't even digest yet, it's almost 2hours. D: how?

tomorrow im going to NUH, together with my mum for my little precious scanning. i can't wait to see her~ OH MY, i've to get up early morning tomorrow, so im turning in early tonights (: after checkup, reached home awhile, i'll be heading to FEP to catch up with Joyce

will be starting work on Thursday, and im getting my commission (: woohoo~ finally, another month pass-ed. anyway, there isn't anything to post, i shall post my princess scanning tomorrow.

it has been so long since i get into a relationship, or maybe i dont even know what love is, i guess i got tired over relationship, though sometime i still wish i have someone to be there for me, to takecare of me, to report strength to me, to always be there for me, but now, i think i should learn to be independent, to live a life of my own, together with my princess. i believe my mr right will appear one day :D

shall end my post here, im going to do mask now, and going to bed soon. nights peoples.

boy, i want th best for you

Just Th Matter Of Time.

2010-06-29T00:55:00.003+08:00

(: im so wanting to update my blogs, i feel so happy when i see my blogs, i guess im a little crazy, do i? well, is late now, im about to sleep soon, after this post. went to work today, and im so lazy to get up, but i still drag myself to work without fail.

i got my paid today, but is with my mum now, i didn't bank in and didn't keep it myself, cause i know im going to spend it all away. tomorrow im going to stay at home th whole day (: and have a good rest, and will be going for my check up on Wednesday ~ im sooooooooo wanna see my Jensabella, who is so active in my tummy.

this Wednesday after check up, im going to FEP, to meet up with Joyce as a promise, she need my luck, my baby luck (: to help her on her sales. laughs* at th same time im also going to buy bday present for J. i really dk what to update lehs, how uh?

oh ya, bus story~! today when i was going to work, a guy seated beside me, and guess what happen? he fallen asleep, and there he goes, leaning against me, with my bloody fcuking temper, he got scolded by me. i swear, better dont bump into me on bus, if you're going to do stupid things, LOLS. cause i got really hot temper~

i guess, that's about all? shall update again bahs, there's nothing for me to update now (: nights people.

th feeling of being love, is always better, then you love someone.

A Year Later (:

2010-06-27T22:23:00.005+08:00

I've changed my blogskins, and well im kinda satisfied with it. It's simple and plain. LOLS (: well, i've removed both my shoutmix&cbox, and decided to use formspring. see how it goes, i might use back shoutmix if i find formspring is too troublesome. it's going to be a week since i last updated my blogs.

i've been busy with working th past few day, well im going to stop work soon, so for now, i really have to work hard to earn enough income for myself during my confinement. I'm off today, and same goes to next Tuesday&Wednesday. time flies like tap water running, it's only a turn, and im 8weeks away from Jensabella arrival. im scared, im excited. i really dont know how th pain going to be, but i believe it will all be worth while :D

tomorrow is J birthday, at th same time, i've know him for a year, i remember his last year birthday, i was there, and it was th first time i saw him. a year later, he is enjoying himself, and im about to give birth to his child, time really pass so fast, and really no one can predict what will happen. during th past one year im with him, i really go through alot, is too much that no one is able to understand, but still, i wanna say Happy Birthday To You, my loves.

i'll be working tomorrow, im lazy, how? still have to go right, endure for a day, and im going to rest for two whole day (: Wednesday is my second scanning at NUH, finally im able to see Jensabella again. can't wait really (: she is getting so near to me, i can't wait to see her everyday when i wake up, can't wait to see her smiling at me.

okay, im about to stop here, im going to take my key from peiyun and about to sleep soon, shall be back to blogger again. see you guys, do drop question for me to answer (: nights people.

PS: just in case you dont know, below th Formspring, is your links, just click on it, and you'll understand, same goes to my profile, and everything, it will appear when you press-ed on th words, {click for profile&tags} (:

Getting Tired -

2010-06-22T02:39:00.003+08:00

:D im back to update my blogs, yes is rather late now, and so im turning in after this post. just finish doing my iPhone, and downloading of song, and everything, but im never satisfied with my phone, kinda get broed using it lerhs, but well, still dind't plan to change phone.

Father's Day just over, headed out to have a family dinner at 163, both my sis and I actually plan-ed to go XingWan, at plaza but both my parents disagree, so ended up at 163, th meal was good, and of cause we did enjoy, though end of th day, my dad got a $100 summon ): so me & sis paid for that summon too.

headed to work most of th day, or infact everyday, i seldom off, as i need to earn money, before Jensabella's arrive (: and im left with oly 9 weeks to go, im rather excited and nervous, she is kicking me NOW ~ oh my, so late and she is still so active, im so afraid that i'll be giving birth in th middle nights.

(: MCYS organize a moives outing, at Cineleisure on Friday, feel like going so much, but im working, and im unable to make it, i guess most of th ex-SGH girl are attending? well, i miss this again, few month back, i think i miss out a dinner, now is this, none of my colleague is free, all celebrating anniversary with BF, so well, i guess i shall work and earn money (thus, they are complaining im giving them too much off?) like dude =.=" im lazy to say, their hearts know will do, im not baise.

oh my, im so can't wait for my next scanning on next Wednesday, it has been like month since i last scan, i want to see Jensabella's, can't wait, really. well, my income is getting tighter, and tighter, as im not getting paid, and im really saving, (: can see my paid with my boss is increasing everyday, w/o taking every weeks, is still better.

anyway, i guess those MTB, who did take bus or MRT, or anything sure spotted alot of typical Singaporean. well, i swear i've so much of bus story to share, almost a day, i've two story. etc, peopel pretending to sleep, th moment they saw you. refuse to give up seat to th old one. keep staring at you like, as if you're some monster from outer space. and blad blad blad. im so sick of typical Singaporean, who got no sense of moral. i dont mind people dont give up seat to me, but at least STOP starring at me, i dont like.

it happen a day, that i was on my way to work, an old lady board th bus, and ALL of them refuse to give up th seat, and eventually i give up my seat to that old lady (: i bet even im pregnant im able to stand, and stable, i dont see a reason FOR NORMAL PEOPLE, who dont seem to be preg, or even old, can't stand. shall stop naggign at this, im so sick of bus, and now trend that people does is, go in th lift and dont press th lift, WTF ~ what's wrong.

ACC is back working with us, and we are like seeing each other everyday, im yearning to see her babygirl, ohmy, when is she going to bring baby Adelia to see me~ one after one giving birth, my turn coming, scared ): how does th pain goes, i wonder.

(: ok, im nagging so much, did i? laughs, shall end my post here, i guess i need to sleep and rest, my baby need to sleep too, i guess if i dont sleep, she wont sleep too, Jensabella's will be my only.

i guess, th feeling faded, somehow or rather.
though i miss you time to time.
but th misses doesn't seem to be as much as th past.
your life just seem to be a circle,
you're running around, w/o thinking th path ahead.
and since you dont, why should i help you in building your future,
im tired, and yes, boy, i've given up.
th thought of wanting you to return,
has long disappear.
i bet you feel it too, dont you?

:D day after day

2010-06-17T23:49:00.002+08:00

hellos :D it has been sometime since I last update my blog isn't it. well, tags is so little ); I want more, more. has been busy working, as my boss have went oversea to top up stocks, I'm rather tired, getting up early morning, end work late nights, squeezing inside th bloody bus! though most of th time my boss will sent us home. guess, have rely on cars too much.

well, sales is going up and down like roller coaster, especially this period of holidays. well, yesterday was late for work, due to th heavy downpour and traffic jam, especially th flood in orchard, is like omg, right, though I'm at bugis, but I saw th video of th flood, plus th newspaper, is like damn jialat.

okok, Jensabella is doing well, and she is rather active at night time instead of th day time. can feel her kicking almost everyday, everynight :D she's th best gift I had (; my appointment is a weeks plus away. can't wait to see her, heeees. and I'm nearly ten weeks away from her arrival, I'm scared , I swear!

ACC is back to work, and obviously working time pass faster with her around, telling me story, and babies ! especially when she tell me her birth story, woohoo, scary ); I'm scared! full of joy with her around!

I'm craving for a Burberry bag, i really want, should I save money and buy? is it worth it? I really don't know, will my income be stable if I buy, oh my, I'm full of question ); everything is money! sad.

shall end my post here (; my off day is on father's day, another family outing this Sunday (;

to give up on you,
is th only choice, isn't it?

-Posted via iPhone

what's th real reason behind?

2010-06-12T16:36:00.002+08:00

ilovemypeople, wooho~ im here to update my blog. okay, wondering why aint i working today right? went out yesterday evening to have dinner, and right before i board th cab, i sprain my ankle, and woolala~ that's why im home today ;

i swear being at home is so bored ): bored dead, understand. im good girl, i wake up in th morning, to have my breakfast, and eventually cleaned th whole house, including vacuming and mopping, a claps for me.

and here im, updating my blog. well, was out yesterday to 163 to have dinner with Joan, and her daughter. chit chatted about our life, it has been so long since i last catch up with her, after dinner, walked back to Pending LRT, while they go home, i met up with ChiaTeckHeng, since he book out yesterday (:

waited for him to bath and everything, cabed back home and buy dinner for both my mum and my brother, and headed out to Fajar with TeckHeng, slacked, and chatted awhile, he train-ed home. while i walk back home~

after i reach home, chatted with Joce awhile in msn, before going to bed. well, im bored, this week i've three day off, and im gonna work double hard next week, plan to off only on Sunday, cause is Father's Day.

decided to bring daddy out for dinner; shall plan together with my sis (: and well, tomorrow im going back to work, FINALLY ~ my ankle is really fine, thanks everyone for th care and concern (:

my parents is going out tomorrow, sad-ed im working, couldn't tag along, they plan to buy a cabinet for Jensabella's to put her stuff (: i bet she will bring joy to me after she's out (: she is now 29weeks and 1day. i really can't wait to see her ):

guess my post shall end here, im lazy to really update, im going to bath, and take a nap :D bye peoples.

time dont wait for you,
you should learn to catch up with th time.

I Miss Th Way ;

2010-06-11T11:40:00.002+08:00

Morning peoples. I'm here to update my blogs, and im going back to sleep soon. I'm feeling so tired, and a little not feeling well since yesterday, but decided to give a quick and short post.

Went to work yesterday, as usual, but th morning weather is too good that i didn't want to get up, still i drag myself to work, reach work started opening shop and everything, slacked like almost th whole afternoon, as there's no crowd, due to th early rains.

after work, bus-ed back home alone ): MinYi is going out with friends, and my boss is going out, couldn't send me home, so pity me, i have to bus back home. but im glad that there's a kind handsome guy give up his seat to me, knowing that th bus is so squeezy~

after i reach home, watch TV awhile, and to bed (: sleep till 9AM, and went to Fajar buy breakfast, and eat together with my mommy, she went to work already, left me alone at home, so im going back to sleep to take a nap (: tomorrow need to work ;

Jensabella's is doing fine, doing good in my tummy, naughty little her, keep kicking me, but i know she's active, counting down :D

there's nothing i want to say to you,
but this song should be able to describe my feeling.
Colbie Caillat - I Never Told You

I miss those blue eyes
How you kiss me at night
I miss the way we sleep

Like there's no sunrise
Like the taste of your smile
I miss the way we breathe

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

I see your blue eyes
Everytime I close mine
You make it hard to see
Where I belong to
When I'm not around you
It's like I'm alone with me

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

But I never told you
What I should have said
No, I never told you
I just held it in

And now,
I miss everything about you
Can't believe that I still want you
And after all the things we've been through
I miss everything about you
Without you

To Be Th Only One

2010-06-09T22:17:00.002+08:00

(: hellooooosssss, im so lazy to update my blogs, but still decided to give an update. im off today, and im at home almost th whole day, was out only to Fajar with my mum, went to get Jensabella's stuff, and yes, i've bought everything lerhs.

now im waiting for her arrival, she is ten weeks away from me, and im scared HOW? omg, hearing those story more scary. but i've to be prepare no matter what (: i know there's pain, but there's gain too, after seeing her, everything should be worth while. anyway, my stomach is getting bigger, and im really having hard time working. still, i've to endure.

i've requested for monthly paid, as i've gather Jensabella's stuff lerhs, and my check up will be on 30June, and so my paid for June i'll get on 29, in order to pay my check up and scanning :D my HP bill just came today too, like =.=" everything money, and im going to pay my bill tomorrow.

recently my mood isn't as good as how im suppose to be, i swear my mood is like up and down, i get so piss off easily, and when i get piss off, everything around me, will affect me. i swear, dont piss me off. if you dont like my attitude, then tell me, talk behine me, thinking i wont know, then you're wrong (:

anyway, congrates to Jensabella's daddy, who is out of NS life from today; nothing much to mention about him, just hope he will find a stable job and work hard, change for th better. that's what im always hoping.

should be meeting my KXG&Sherry next weeks for stingray session again? heeeees, i dont know, shall plan and see how bahs, guess that's about all for my update. im working hard, i dont have much time to save money, so im spending less, eating less too, my appetizer isn't good, eat what, vomit what, but i know my Jensabella's is active, she can kick me whole day~ like really whole day ok.

that's about all, im sleeping early today, tomorrow is another working day. NIGHTS *

it doesn't matter to me anymore,
it isn't important now.

To Let You Go ;

2010-06-06T21:29:00.002+08:00

I'm here to update my lovely blog (: and well, im working tomorrow, so i will sleep early tonight, just finish editing PeiYun blogs. im so bored now, i woke up at 10AM today, and went out to have breakfast with both my parents (: at Fajar Mac.

after breakfast, rest awhile at home, and headed out to WestCoast area, to have lunch, and at th same time send my mum to work, after that headed back together with my daddy, and started packing my room, rearraging all th item, pack my clothes, and stuff :D my daddy is th best, he help me with everything, changing my room light, moving all th furniture.

after that, i vacum th floor, while my daddy mop th floor. now he have went out to fetch my mum (: soon, im going to bath and pack Jensabella's clothing and stuff too.

life is still th same, nothing much to say, busy working, and at th same time waiting for Jensabella's arrivals, counting down, should be round 11 weeks or less to go. can't wait to carry her on my hand, and my second scanning is coming in three weeks time ; time is passing fast.

another two day he's going to finish his NS, wish him all th best, and he will be able to find a stable job, and move on, been long since i last contact him, i guess im stronger then before. i use to call him, use to text him, but now, i no longer does, just want him to know, i still miss him like how i do, but i wish he could change for th better still.

well, shall end my post here, im going bath now, tomorrow is another working day, earn money (: like what Joyce say to me yesterday, MONEY IS MONEY LOLS ~!

to love you, it take me 3minutes,
to forget you, it might take me 3years.

Enjoy it now, cause it won't last

2010-06-05T23:54:00.002+08:00

sigh* I'm feeling so tired now, lying down on my big big bed, all alone. I miss him out of th sudden )'; but well; promise to look forward. i realise that I've not been blogging since I went for my check up on Wednesday, so I decided to update and then go to sleep (; I'm off tomorrow, I could stay at home, pack my room, rearrange th furniture inside my room, &most importantly my jensabella's stuff !

have been working th past few day, feeling so tired and at th same time so stress up, idk why either, maybe cause tummy getting bigger, so everything I do is a little bit difficult and tough? uh-huh =.='' well, didn't really spend much this few day, trying to save money ); anyway, now is GSS, and I went to shop for Jensabella's stuff and eventually spent alot !

there's nothing much to update, beside working, tomorrow I'm off, so I guess I'll have a long update again, shall stop here then! nights people (;

if I'm missing you, I bet you're missing someone else

-Posted via iPhone

Pls don't come back, when I choose to go

2010-06-02T22:41:00.002+08:00

Hello :D I'm here to update my blog, is a little late now, as I was doing my blogskins just now, something went wrong and *POOF* all my template code was mess-ed up, so I've to redo everything, wasting my time to search th code, edit this and that, but well It doesn't take a long time (; anyway I'm off today (;

went for check up in th early morning, my dad drive me there, my appointment was so early that I've to wake up at 8AM, get myself ready and left th house, I was late for my appointment due to th traffic jam, but thanks God, I didn't wait as long as my first visit, it took me less then an 1hour to finish everything, took my blood test today, but didn't do scanning ); th doctor say I will do my scanning on next appointment on 30June (: well, is early morning too, but this time round is around 9.30AM if I didn't remember wrongly.

after check up, cab-ed home. headed to Fajar to get my haircut (; together with my mum. reached home was about 1PM or earlier, do some housework, and started to catch up th show With You, and soon, I took a nap, and woke up around 5.30PM to watch Little Nonya (:

ate steamboat at home today, but both my brother&sister wasn't home, though we did call them. after dinner do some cleaning, and watch TV (; just finish bathing not long, now doing mask. tomorrow is another working day, though I feel a little tired still, gonna rest early tonights !

Jensabella's is doing well, manage to hear her heartbeat though I was yearning to see her ); anyway I'm 11weeks away from her arrival, I'll be working all th way till 22August, and get myself ready for Jensabella's arrival :D time flies, and hope it really go smoothly, well my stretch mark is worst now, I swear this is th worst stretch mark I ever had, th moment it started to appear, it appear so much ): does stretch mark cream work?

*sigh, shall end my post here (; nights people !

if I'm about to let go, don't give me a little hope,
to make me stay, to believe you will change, can?

-Posted via iPhone.

I've no reason to stay

2010-05-30T20:55:00.003+08:00

:D I still have an hour to go before I could go home, I'm so bored now, I swear today sales is sucks ! really sucks, no people and is like uh huh =.=" everyone like chiong-ing their sales, I'm so lazy to even move, cause whenever I'm about to approach to th customer, they will walk off. like a shit !

shall start posting from th day (; wake up early morning, bath and drag myself out from th house, bus-ed to work, and guess what? someone offer their seat to me, and well as th bus go all th way from BKE, then to PIE, reaches Tanglin CC, someone infront of me alight, and this bloody youngster who is standing eventually rush to snatch th seat instead of giving th seat to an old lady, I'm so pissed, that I give up my seat to tt old lady, isn't it shit? what's wrong with Singaporean!?

I'm at shop rather early, before 11AM I was already there :D imma good girl, so hard working ! started opening shop and one by one everyone reaches, after opening, all of us seating at shop, waiting for customer to come, but there isn't much ppl at all, no people = nonsales! hais, so bored, tomorrow is my COMISSION day, and Tuesday is my paid day :D many many money!

Wednesday going for my check up at NUH, and hope everything go smoothy, hope my precious Jensabella's is healthy and fine, I'm waiting paitently for my pretty daughter :D she's so naughty, keep kicking me. I know she doesn't have a daddy; I promise I would be a better mommy (; her daddy is too playful to even be a father.

ending work soon, guess that's about all, I've nothing much to post, bye readers, I want more tags please :D

I want a label bags, should I get it? one is enough );

to be th best, you've to give your best.

-Posted via iPhone :D

i deserve better

2010-05-29T21:30:00.002+08:00

:D helllllooooos, im here to update my blogs, before going to bath, do my mask and sleep. is early now, i work half day today, was home at 7.30PM, was feeling rather tired, guess i really cant work so much now, but still i've to endure.

life's is all about moving on, so im not looking back, or maybe sometime a glance. im trying to be as strong as i can, for my girl :D im really excited about Jensabella's arrival, i know her daddy's doesn't, and i bet he dont even fcuking know when is it, neither would i say much, since he show no concern, all he do was, drink, club and fool around. sorry to say, but is th fact) ;

anyway, Jensabella's is very naughty, or should i say active? she's kicking me non stop. at least i could feel her, and it make me happy, have been waiting to see her, this Wednesday im going for my second scanning, and i hope that she is healthy and fine.

many things in my life i've to go through, thinking about how much things have change from a year back. i remember a year ago, i've this close friends, whom i trusted, whom i always share my promblem with and even leaded me to have a crush on, told me "we can't be together, but i promise you, i'll take care of you, and bring you out, whenever im out." this sentence is still on my head.

things changed. empty promises given, isnt it? wondering who i saying, yes, is ~~LiongYanSin~~, i bet he have long forgotten me, i admit that im a little bit unreasonable at time, i have to say i do treasure th friendship between me and him, but it does show that he doesn't treasure at all, how many time i try to hold back this friendship, how many time you try to bring trouble. but still, i hope you're doing fine out there, feel like ringing you, but something stop me, just hope you're well. i miss your rubbish & nonsense. :D i still care, but i love pretending ;

as for J, i've nothing to say, i promise not to mention him in my blog anymore, but i still have to. yes, i miss him still, but no longer as much as how i use to, i love him still, but maybe my heart was been slashed too many time that i feel numb, somehow or rather. i know he will be doing well out there, there's nothing for him to stress, he's going to ORD, and birthday is also coming, just wish him all th best. i know i've cling on more than half a year, and when time's out. i should leave. im not looking back -

that remind me of my FATTYBOMBOM, be strong, move on, dont be like me, because one day you'll feel more hurt, more pain, more suffering and more suffocating. you must endure, dont give up :D you always have all your babes around you, and im one of them~ i can't be there for you all the time, but at least ring me up, i shall be your listening ear :D

seeing friends one by one getting married, im so envy, at th same time i feel happy for them too :D all the best to all who get married, at th same time congrates to all th mommy-to-be :D

guess that's about all for my post, im going to bath now. working tomorrow :D byes ~

bit by bit, it faded

2010-05-27T16:41:00.003+08:00

:D hello peoples, is still early now, I swear! is not even 5pm yet. okok, tell me what should I do now? I'm at work places now, and I'm fcukin tired. (though I slept early yesterday) I'm not feeling well too, I don't know what's wrong with me, stand too long my leg start to pain seat too long, I'll start to feel uncomfortable, my back will start to aches, I'm like aunties right (;

wake up early morning, to have my breakfast together with my mum, and make her coffee :D after than get myself ready, and drag myself to work . before going to work, my mum told me to stop working after i give birth, and look after my Jensabella's myself, and my dad will help me support Jensabella, but I disagree to it, cause I feel that I should work and earn money too, I can't rely on them forever isn't it (:

went to work, and th stupid passenger in th bus don't fcuking know how to give up seat to me, and i swear my leg aches like hell today, and th stupid youngster still can pretend to sleep while seeing me standing infront of her, and next was an middle age lady putting her staff on th other chair and nobody is able to seat beside her, like WTF right, when she know I was looking at her she put her bag on her lap, but I'm fcuking angry and don't even have th mood to seat down ! *ARG !

I'm so tired now, working like non stop ); I vomited a few hours ago after eating my lormee, guess I'm really fainting soon. *SOBS! my sales isn't good today, starting was so good now no people ! holyshit! i'm going to save money, I'm only able to spend 10 per day ; and I really did make it ok ! imma a good girl.

shall stop blogging now, I'm feeling tired :D I want eat tomyam maggiee mee ! That's all, shall updat again.

I miss your voice, say hello to me again )':

-Posted via iPhone.

I'm lost without you ;

2010-05-26T21:02:00.003+08:00

D: im feeling so hungry now, dont know what to eat, feel like calling delievery, but i doesn't wish to waste money, so ): what should i do? my mummy is not home yet, daddy also not home yet, brother is out. im home all alone since 12PM. nothing to do, no one to entertain me.

my handphone is so quiet, is not ringing either. what a boring off day, tomorrow is another working day. went to work yesterday as usual, sales still th same, not much crowd, and is rather quiet. after work, headed to Kbox with all my babies (Joce, Fatty, MinYi, ShuLing). before going to Kbox, headed to have supper, enjoy eating stingray with all my babies, and headed to Kbox. sing, sang, sung until 4AM ;D

minyi headed back home first, as she need to work th second day, and i guess she's a little bored there. after Kbox, cabed home together with ShuLing, bath, and slept at 4.30AM (:

woke up rather early too, i was up at 11AM, and i guess, i dont have enough sleep, but i can't force myself to go back to sleep either. so decided to wake up, and have my breakfast, after that do some cleaning, and watch TV all th way, but im watching it onlines, at http://xinmsn.com was watching th show "With You" from channel8, th whole day (: is really a nice show.

just finish eating sushi, my parents are home, and im enjoying sushi =D so full now, and im going to cut mangoes, and eat mangoes. Jensabella's is naughty, she's kicking me every now and then. my next check up is on Wednesday, gonna see Jensabella's, hope she's fine, and i really cant wait for th next three month, scared & nervous.

guess, that's about all barhs. im going to eat my mango =D shall update again. i got a few things bothering me, should i jailbreak my iphone? should i cut my hair? hais, so many question marks. guess that's about all barhs.

there's so much things i wish i could tell you.

On My Way

2010-05-24T22:48:00.003+08:00

I'm on my home now )'; is rather late isn't it ? thanks to th last minutes crowd and th talkertive boss, so I guess I might reach home around 11:30pm or later ); saded, anyway i'm so bored now, how? can someone kill my boredom, I feel so uncomfortable seating on th bus too ); infact I'm not feeling good since this morning. sigh*

anyway, tomorrow would be a better day isn't it? I'm going to Kbox with my babes tomorrow, gonna enjoy my day no matter what, I'm feeling a little down too, infact alot, I miss him still, regardless how badly he have treated me, though he keep saying "ppl treat me good, I will treat that person ten times better" to be honest is ten time lesser D: he can't feel th good I've, he didn't know how to appreciate everything I've done, and I've decided to move on, give up. he's just taking me for granted, to him maybe he would feel he didn't, but that's what he make me feel )':

tomorrow should be a better day, I'm working tomorrow still, gonna have a good rest and for goodness sake, my back is aching I'm feeling more and more auntie now. shall end my post here, my next check up is on 2June (; and I hope Jensabella's is good ! praying -

Fatty, everything will be fine ; be strong!

-posted via iPhone.

tomorrow would be a better day.

2010-05-23T22:37:00.004+08:00

(: i just finish changing my blogskins & also my KXG blogskins. it's rather long since i really seat down infront of my computer to update my blogs. well, i dont know what to update actually.

today is my off day, and yesterday was AhSher's birthday celebration. i was working yesterday, but i left at 8PM. cause Aubrey came down to bugis to look for me, and so i went off early together with her, cab-ed down to AhSher's chalet. though it was night time, i swear th weather is HOT there. due to th BBQ pit, and th crowd there. i didn't take much picture, as im rather ugly ;D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO CHERRY CHEN ZI LI

i was home early, and i really saved alot of money, beside cabbing together with Aubrey and th birthday present, i didn't spend anymore money. Aerisha's boyfriends sent me home, as Aerisha's stayed around my area too, and it really saved me alot of money (: but i did enjoy myself, gather with alot of people whom i have long see.

oh ya, next is to upload AhChun, baby Adelia's picture.

she is so cute isn't it (: so chubby, and seriously i can't wait to carry her ; still got to wait for her full month ;D and i miss AhChun's alotsa. when is she coming back ): well, i dont want to update much, so i guess i shall stop here barhs. need to hand over th computer back to my mum (:

Jensabella's have only three more month to be in this world, im scared at the same time im excited, i want her to sleep beside me (:

maybe you will never change.
just remember, life is your's,
you choose your path yourself.

2010-05-20T00:10:00.002+08:00

(; it has been so long since I last update my blog. guess I'm rather lazy, or rather I was too busy actually. i've been working like there's no tomorrow. my rountine is th same actually, everyday doing th same thing, seating th same bus, seeing th same people and even eating th same food ;D

went to catch IronMan2, i swear that's th best action movies i ever watched. my saving is growing, but still isn't enough, I need to really work and earn more, my precious is coming to this world soon, less then like 12 weeks ? and i seriously can't wait to see her (; so sweet of Joce bought my precious a lovely flower dress; heeees!

my ahchun have give birth to a babygirl! omg, I want to see th baby girl ); but i've to wait till her baby full month ); I miss her so much, without her my working soul gone half, no people entertain me like how she does, faster come back )';

there's nothing to update (; shall update agn soon !

The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.

2010-05-13T20:30:00.002+08:00

I'm suppose to hate you, more than I love you.
I'm suppose to move on, and give up on you.
I'm suppose to ignore you and be heartless like you were.
but, i don't know how ):

time is not waiting for me,
we have to catch up with th time.

maybe is really over.

2010-05-12T22:02:00.003+08:00

I seriously don't know where to start blogging )'; should I update my happiness or my sadness. I'm not feeling good yesterday, I break down so badly, when something hit me. to be honest this time round I'm waking up accept th truth and move on, I'm going for what is best for me (; I'm not gng to drop anymore tears, I promise.

went to work yesterday as normal just like any other day, but he message me during th evening time and eventually spoiled my four to five hours moods, and from th tears I'm finally awake, I've to say th truth now, when he needed help I help him, when he need anything I get for him, and _|_ fcuk you, what th fcuk I get in return, shits, lies, pain and hurt? someone like you don't deserve any good thing now.

two week ago, say wanted to patch with her get thing settle, five day ago, message me tell me you would want to go back with me but you're afraid of being half hearted, and later on tell me you got a girlfriends, hello, you've a son and a daughter now, can't you just stop your life, how many girl would you like to fool? I'm damn disappointed and even upset over your action, I've enough of all. my babygirl shall not concern you and your life shall not concern me, when I'm heartless you'll need to pay double, don't force me to do thing I don't wish to, I'm seriously telling you, is getting on my nerve with your fcuking action and I know, you'll never change I'm not pulling you down, but your action just prove me everything.

); I'm really down and even heartbreak to be honest, but i've made up my mind, I will live well with my baby girl(; I just have to stay strong, and move on, actually wanted to change blog URL, but after thinking I feel that, there's no need to bahs, if a guy could be heartless why not a women. isn't it? drop th sadness now, anyway I've a great day yesterday (; went to Kbox with all my babes, photo taken but I'm damn ugly! LOLS, with total make up on (;

today is my off day, went out with my mum, spend alot too (; but I enjoy, now I have th freedom to do what I want I don't need to spare a single thought for you, cos you doesn't either. anyway, i won't mention th baby father anymore, from now it won't affect me and I won't let any babes down (; I would be strong and move on !

say goodbye to you,
and that will be th last goodbye.

2010-05-09T22:34:00.002+08:00

(: hello, im here to update my blogs. feeling kinda bored now, im home at around 8pm today, and also yesterday. been working like crazy, earning money for th sake of precious. i know she can feel it too, i've been using my phone to update my blog for like almost one month? it has been so long since i really touches th lappy.

well, how's work? work is fine, just that im feeling so tired, especially when there's no crowd, it makes me wanna sleep D: pls come down to Bugis Str, IRONIC to buy clothes from me, im selling guys clothing. laughs* wanted to put back my tagboard, but Cbox.co.za is not cooperating with me, yeahs (:

there's nothing for me to update, another three more day to my check-up at NUH, my mum is going with me this Wednesday (: is really good, when there's a company with you, isn't it? sis have move back home but she isn't sleeping with me, or in my room. anyway she seldom come home still.

tomorrow is another working day, earn money, Tuesday is hiting me soon (: PAY DAY, woohoo~ but still, is going to come & eventually go too, Wednesday check up should be another bomb isn't it? LOLS, but for precious everything is worth.

that's about all, i've nothing to update, and thanks Moon for th baby item too (: she came all th way down to Bugis two day back to pass me those baby item, is really appreicated.

im having cough and sorethroat now D:

im like holding on to a rope,
that's is gonna break in any minutes.

2010-05-06T00:46:00.003+08:00

(; I'm here to give a quick and fast update, soon going to bed. well, as you guys will realise I've removes my tagboard due to some spammer talking rubbish, who don't even dare to put own name still dare to come and tag making people laughs (; but is ok, I got no time to entertain this bitch, and shall remove for th time being (; anyway to whoever who is unhappy with me, pls make a good sense, don't bark infront of your computer, look for me instead, isn't it easier you look so timid infront of me? don't dare appear? only dare to bark infront of th computer, that's rather sad right?

anyway, her words don't pull me down (; call me whatever you want. headed to work as usual, opening at 11am almost everyday (; I'm superwomen (; yesterday didn't went home after work, I've got something on, and so wasn't back home, but I've a great night, I've got my hellokitty iPhone crystal casing, thanks, I really like it and is appreciated (;

today worked half day, due to advance mother's day celebration (; as mother's day is this Sunday, I'm not able to off, at th same time my mum also couldn't off so shall bring them today, went to Pending to have our dinner, it wasn't exp (; and at th same time is less than $80 (; I hope mum enjoy, I really enjoy eating with th whole family it has been so long since we five hanged out together ;D

I've to thanks Yuanmei for th baby clothing and stuff that she have passed to me (; and also KXG for th baby clothes she bought from genting, I went to collect from her after my dinner today, is all appreciated !

think that's about all (; will try to update more, nights *

maybe letting go would make you feel better,
maybe life without me, you'll be more happy.