&I Promise, Is Last.

I Wanna Hold You Till The Fear In Me Subsides

Teresa Sim would be strong, after this post. after every truth feeling and words is out. i promise ): i really do. i need tissue now, im crying so badly, no shoulder to lean on, no one to turn to, no one really understand what's happening, especially when it came to a love, which is just one-sided ; really. and when it came to only me. and just me, who should i turn to. i want go back to SGH can i? no matter how i cry, i know there's shoulder to lean on, there's people to listen to my feeling, people to relate my problem with, people who will understand even more than anything else. people there giving me advice, evven though they are just a few who is true. but at least i wont be all alone like now...

i know you will come, so i decided to post what i want to say down here. i cried endlessly, a week at least once, from July until now, even right at this moment, i dont know why would i still bother, i dont know why do i still hoping for miracle. even thousand and million time you told me to move on. why am i still hoping that you would return. i hope you still love me, i hope you still care about me, but time to time, im decieving myself, i lie to myself so much that i can't take it anymore. i break down a thousand and million time, hoping that i have never met you before, if we met, is by fate, i hope we wont be apart now. if we met was an accident, i rather i dont know you at all. th feeling of missing you is so suffering, the feeling of losing you is even worst. i dont know why, i can't accept the fact that you're gone. i dont know what more can i ask. i miss the time waking up, you were just right beside me, i miss the time when you were playing computer, and i was nagging all the way, i miss the time we watch movies together, i miss those little happy time we have together, i miss your everything, though at times you were unreasonable. i remember those little time we spend together. regardless is a minutes or a seconds. i dont understand why, im clinging on, when you have made so many mistake. telling me so many lies. i forgive everything, i really do, though it stay in my mind forever, but all i want was your promises, where has everything gone to. do you remember everything we had? i doubt. no matter what i do, how many surprise hitted you, nothing would touch your heart, i feel so useless, so hopeless. you have moved on, can you teach me how to, i want to move on. i can't stay any longer ): can you change for the better? stop hurting people, be more mature and start to plan what you really want in life, no matter what, i want you to know, i still love you, i really do.

at times I'd like to break you
and drive you to your knees
at times I'd like to break through
and hold you endlessly
at times I understand you
and I know how hard you try
i've watched whil love commands you
and I've watched love pass you by
at times I think we're drifters
still searching for a friend
a brother or a sister
but then the passion flares again.

我的心深深伤过却不会忘。如果还有遗憾又怎么样？伤了痛了懂了， 就能好了吗?