i feel soo down at this little moment ): what can i do? why am i still thinking of helping when i can't even save myself. i wished so much it would be easier, my life wont be this tough.
there's none, seriously none that understand how much im gng through, none can know how tough it's for me. none will know what's gng on around me, and even none who will be there to listen to my side.
i hate it when people say im so dumb, sucha a fool. do they know what's is going on? does you guys follow me 24/7, know what's going on around me ? i felt so stuck in between. with my situation like tt how am i going to be a mother?
just imagine, i went for check up today, and it's like so exp, i can't imagine th further down when i need to go for th follow up? how much would it be? how tough it's going to be;
today is not a good day, i was jobless once again, my great grandma is in hospital, and maybe she can't pull through anymore, so many shits is happening, what should i do, is like a week plus to CNY, and everything is coming.
my bill is coming this weeks, eerything on my own. should i first think of myself, or think of another? i feel so lost, i feel down, im losing things one by one, bit by bit ): and is killing me to th max. i dont wish to cry anymore.
im afraid of being alone, being neglect, when there's no one there for me. when im on my own, when nobody understand what's going on in my life. i hate the feeling just being alone..
i wished so much you would understand.
i wished so much things would be easier.
was i dumb to stay, becos i love you still?
when it came to a point,
feeling that you might be lying to me still.
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