Hello (: im missing for a few days only right. im just trying to keep myself strong, and to accept th reality that he's totally gone. (: and *clap, i make it, this time round i really did, i used my time at night, lying down, having a deep thought, should i go on, soon before answer was out, i dozed off. but the next day, and answer was out so clearly. he should be gone, he dont worth my love, my tears, my blood. he worth nothing at all, nobody truly undertand what have went through with him, obiously his friends is on his side. but all i know is im stating the fact (: i admit i miss him still, even now. BUT, a promise i made to many friends who care, life is moving on.
i have been sticking with him for so long, i never wanted anything from him. i just want him to spend more time with me, when im free. i just want him to have me in his eyes, but he give me nothing. i wont turn back anymore, regardless what happen. from now, he's nothing to me. everything he own-ed me, time can't paid back. so what if i loved him so much, so what i care about him so much? my working friends from bugis, know how stupid i was, how willingly im to spend money on him, then on me. what i get in the end? nothing, not even his love. i trusted his sweet talk, his everything. _|_ NAHS. not now anymore ; im finally awake, i give up so much thing for you, even my friends, my freedom, or even my job. what i get? when i was pregnant, all you bother to ask was "is the baby mine?", full of doubt uh? so all you do was not being responsible. so what if you did transfer $800 to me? is for me to abort the baby, seriously. how many babies you kill-ed before me, you know better than me. why can't you change and be better, even when Jenson was out? he's your son, yes im not close with your exgf, but from what she said, she went through a lot, did you ever try to understand her? all was because you were childish, sensitive, and playful. but now, im not going to bother, my little precious will be fine, and since you say you didn't want see this baby, choose to delete me from FB or MSN i dont bother anymore, i will grant your wish (: i will. but remember, one day, when you start to think, nothing will turn back, no one will forgive. remember that you will regret. you will -
(: stop the matter about him from now. in life there's too much of this type of guys, that's why many girls lose faith in guys, i believe mine will appear one day, the right one. im waiting, anyway life moved on from now onwards. Teresa will be strong, will be fine. no more crying, im no longer the girl who stick with him, and listen to all his shit. im who i use to be from now (:
fatty chatted with me few days back, in msn. she was there, i know she is always there. thought she got her love life, but i dont regret knowing her. she make me miss my drinking life, i feel like drinking so much, i've stop-ed smoking for months, im not turning to smoking life, but i do miss drinking life, miss going to Oasis ): but i know i can't go there at anytime from now. i promise to be a good and responsible mother, cos this baby got a irresponsible father, so i can't be like him. i will keep this baby healthy =D but somehow, i miss wearing all my sexy clothing, the wild me, and everything, but im still who im, i love to dress up like a slut, or bitch, i dont care. is me, i dont mind what other think, as long as i know im not what they think will do (: hope-fully after birth my figure will go back, and be more slimmer ): if not many clothes i can't put on le. but for now, this is not important, but my baby is more important, i can't wait for August to arrive.
have been staying home like every single day, no place to go. life is so bored, having dinner on Thursday night, my grandfather birthday. hope by then im feeling better. im sick since last week, starting with throat pain, follow up with a lil fever, then flu, and now cough lerhs. but im so much better now, i take my dad&mum advice, no more cold water, no more spicy food, no heaty food, and drink more warm water. i know my parents still care about me, though sometime they throw tamtrum (: i need no support, but i strongly need theirs.
i seem to write alot uh =D cause i dont know why i can't sleep, butbutbut im going to force myself to sleep now, i can't stay up so long, not good =DD goodnights peeps. shall update real soon.
to share my joy&sadness.
i miss the past Teresa,
who smile like nothing is going to bother her.
i miss my working life with my babes.
nothing can bring me back to working with my babes,
but i know i still can call and chill with them.
but i know, the past Teresa,
is coming back =D she will smile, and just smile.
i miss you still, but time will heal me.
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